Hello, my friends. I have a very, very fun episode for you guys today. I am interviewing Bethany Bubenzer. She is a spiritual and business mentor and also one of my very good friends. We’re going to discuss everything from Human Design and how Human Design will aid you in your business, her own connection with spirituality and how it aids her and her business.
Then we also, somewhere along the way, we discuss talking with the afterlife, communicating with spirits, what we believe and understand about psychedelics, the loss of my mother as well as the loss of her brother and sister. We talk about the coaching industry. This is just a completely jam packed episode that you do not want to miss. It’s going to feel a lot like you’re just a fly on the wall hanging out with me and one of my girlfriends.
But before we get started, I have two announcements to make. Number one, we have the Mini Mind coming up. You have probably been seeing this on my social media. This is a bite-sized six-week Mastermind. It is a Mini Mind.
Guys this is a potent, and it’s a quick hit container that is designed for CEOs who are ready to see what a Mastermind looks like inside of my Hell Yes world. But don’t let the bite size agenda fool you. The six weeks is going to be strong, it’s going to be powerful, it’s going to be potent. Of course, as always, it is going to be fun.
Again it is six weeks long. It is priced at $6,000, and we start on October 26. We do have payment plans available for you guys. But listen, spots are limited, and we are going to sell out of this. I already know it. This is like the first official announcement, and I know it’s going to go quick.
So this is for you. If you are craving a High Level Mastermind space, you don’t want to wait for my big Mastermind in January. You want something right now to round out the end of your 2023 year. You’ve been wanting to work with me closely, and you’ve been looking to uplevel the people that you are surrounding yourself with right now. We are starting October 2, but we will be closing the door as soon as this fills up even if that is like today. We’re going to close the door as soon as it fills up.
We are only taking six people into this container. We are keeping it small and tight and intimate. So this is for you. Run, do not walk, and email us at [email protected].
Announcement number two. Guys this is, I feel like, the announcement some of you all have been waiting for. The live event in January. We are finalizing the details right now. If you want to come to escape the January cold to the Sunshine State to eat and drink and business coach with me and with John then perk your ears up.
This is the first time that we have ever opened this event to the public. We have run this event five times already. This is going to be our sixth event. This is by far a favorite of the Hell Yes community. Lifelong friendships are made here, community is made here, and most importantly, you’re going to walk away with your entire year of 2024 broken down into bite size tangible tasks. You will know exactly what needs to happen for you to reach the goal that you set when we are in Florida together.
This is a highly strategic three days. Lots of thinking on behalf of your business, but also wine and food and fun. I cannot tell you enough that if you’re looking to purchase something that is going to feel playful and fun and rejuvenate your business soul, this is where you want to be. Buy your ticket right now. Tickets are $3,500, but they are completely free and included for those of you who are signed up for the January round of the Thirty More Mastermind. For more questions, email us at [email protected].
All right, my friends. Now on to the beautiful conversation that I have with Bethany Bubenzer. This is episode number 126. I am your host, Becca Pike, and it is time for your weekly dose of Hell Yes Coaching. Let’s go.
Hey, guys. I’m Becca Pike and welcome to The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast, the number one show for entrepreneurs looking to create their first six-figure year. If you’ve got the drive and you know how to hustle but you’re not sure where to channel your energy, we’ve got the answers. Let’s dive into today’s show.
Becca: Hello, Bethany.
Bethany: Hello, Becca.
Becca: How are you my love? I’m so excited that you’re here.
Bethany: I’m wonderful and also so excited to be here.
Becca: So before we tell everyone what you do, let’s talk about ourselves. We have a friendship that goes pretty far back. Like what year do you think we met?
Bethany: It was college, right? So.
Becca: I feel like I. Okay, so just for the audience’s sake, I used to date Bethany’s brother, but I didn’t know Bethany. Like Luke talked about you a lot. Like he talked about you like you hung the moon. So I felt like I knew of you in college, but I can’t imagine that we met until a little bit later. I don’t know.
Bethany: What year did you date, Luke?
Becca: Let’s see. I was probably 20, 20ish? What was that? Like 1987? I don’t know.
Bethany: Yeah. I might have been living in Charleston. But I don’t remember an exact moment of meeting you, but I don’t remember not knowing you if that makes sense.
Becca: I know exactly what you’re saying. I don’t remember when we met, but I also don’t remember us not knowing each other either. So maybe that is true friendship right there.
Bethany: Yeah, very easy.
Becca: I love it. Okay, can you please tell us what you do.
Bethany: So I am a spiritual mentor and a business coach. So what I really do is I work with predominantly women, but sometimes men on two very distinct levels. One is they are absolutely crushing it and they’re doing amazing, but they’ve gone down this path of like okay, I did all the things. It didn’t turn out the way that I expected it to. It doesn’t feel the way that I was promised. What’s missing?
So they come to me to help them really reconfigure and calibrate not to just what it looks like on the outside, but how they really hoped that their life and business would feel and the essence that it would bring to their life.
Then the second level is I work with people, business owners, who are visionaries and are very soul lead. So generally, they don’t just live to have a business to make money but it’s really about a purpose. The way that we talk about it in my world is dharma. So dharma goes back to the Vedas, which is life’s purpose. So I help people build a life and business around their soul’s mission.
Becca: I love that. I want there to be more of that in the world. I definitely have been on a journey just in the last five weeks, as you know, after my mom passed. It was one of those like wake up moments of like what am I even doing? What is the true purpose of everything? So yeah, I just love what you’re doing. I think it’s phenomenal. You do a lot of Human Design work as well. Can you tell us a little bit about what Human Design is for someone that might have never heard of this?
Bethany: Yes. So if you’ve never heard of Human Design, it is an absolutely incredible system that combines three ancient methodologies and philosophies. So it’s a combination of the I-Ching, the Kabbalah, and then astrology.
It’s basically the system that explains your soul’s blueprint on an energetic level. So the ideology is that three months before you were born, based on your karma from your past lives and your dharma, what your soul’s purpose is in this particular lifetime, you have an energetic blueprint that is a guide system for how you make decisions, how you know that you’re in alignment, and how you create your greatest success.
According to Human Design, your success is determined not by what you do or how much money you make, but the positive impact that you’re having on the world and those around you. Then the deep satisfaction you feel in your soul when you’re doing your work.
Becca: Yeah. It was at your parent’s kitchen table that you told me that I am a manifesting generator. That’s as far as I know about that. I know that there’s different options. Like you could be a what they call a mani gen, manifesting generator. You can be a generator, correct?
Becca: Then what are the other options?
Bethany: You could be a projector, reflector, or a manifester.
Becca: Okay. I know that they go so in depth, but if you could like sum them up in just a couple of your own opinionated sentences, how would you describe these different types of people?
Bethany: Yeah. Okay. So there are five types. I want to put a little caveat before I even get started is that the types are the very tip of the iceberg. So at this point, I’ve read probably over a thousand Human Design charts and no two are the same. So there are five different types.
So the first type is a reflector. This is actually the rarest type. It’s one percent of the population. A reflector is really, it’s exactly how it sounds. So the energy of a reflector is to mirror back the world around it. These are have the most empathetic, sensitive beings.
A really great example of this is I had a client who was a reflector, and she got really into cosplay. She could adapt all these different personalities and styles. So the theory is if you ever want to know how you’re really doing in life, hang out with a reflector because you’ll see yourself. They’re pure mirrors.
The second type is projectors. So, projectors are a little bit more common, but they’re still a very rare type. Every type has what’s known as a strategy. The projector’s strategy is to wait for the invitation. So these are the people that have a bird’s eye view of everything. They really are sitting at the top of the trees looking, and they can see the entire landscape.
So because of this, they’re really good at being efficient. They just see the quickest point from A to B. They’re really good at guiding energy. So projectors are the type of people, and we all know them, they’re the ones that can get their work done in two hours where the rest of us it takes eight. They’re the ones that do things very efficiently, and they’re here to be successful. So that they’re like signature.
Now, the third type is a manifester. So manifesters, their strategy is to initiate. Manifesters are about 10% of the population. It is said that all of the rulers of the past were manifesters. They’re just here to be in charge. Manifesters are the type of people that are here, like I said, they’re here to initiate .But what’s really important for a manifester is they’re not meant to explain anything to everybody.
So the energy of a manifester is like I am like chilling on the couch. All of a sudden, I have this grand idea and I’m not going to tell anybody about it. I’m not going to ask permission. I’m just going to get on this train, and this train is going from A to B. Now, if you want to get on my train, awesome. Let’s fucking go. But if you don’t want to get on my train, I don’t really care. Like that’s not my problem. So they do things really fast. Adele is a manifester.
So the other thing about manifester is they’ll have these huge bursts of energy and then they’ll get really, really quiet. So I love to use Adele as an example because like she will come out and like all of the sudden launch an album that changes the world and then no one will hear from her for years and then she does it again. Right? And again and again.
Becca: I wonder if, sorry to interrupt, but I’m reading the biography of Elon Musk. I wonder if he is a generator because everything you just said was very much like exactly the way he seems to run his business and do things.
Bethany: I think he actually might be a manifesting generator.
Becca: Oh okay. Okay.
Bethany: But a manifesting, let me tell you about a generator, and then we’ll talk mani gens because a manifesting generator is half. Well, not always necessarily half but like partially a manifester. So you have the energetic qualities of a manifester. Like you have an idea, you take initiative, there’s a lot of leadership. But then you have the generators.
So generators are about 30% of the population. They are defined by their sacral center. So their signature is to respond. So a generator, it’s a very steady energy. They’re said to be like the worker bees. I don’t necessarily love that term, but what that means is they’re just really good at checking things off a list. They’re good at getting things done. They’re good at like moving one foot in front of the other, and they tend to have a very, very steady energy over time.
Now, generators are here to respond to whatever life presents to them. So it’s basically yes no all day. Yes no all day. So it’s very important if you’re a generator to get out in the world and to experience life, to taste a lot of different flavors, and then let that be the guideposts on your path. That make sense?
Becca: That makes a lot of sense to me. Yeah. Must be the gen in me.
Bethany: Yeah, but the thing about generators is they’re susceptible to burnout when because they just have this natural motor going all the time. They can overdo it really easily.
Becca: I have no idea what that’s like. I just can’t even imagine a life like that.
Bethany: Yeah, they just can go and go and go, right. So they’re just really good at getting shit done, you know? So people can also put a lot on them because they’re good at getting things done. Now, generators are here to feel satisfied. So it’s really important that the things that you’re doing, you’re not just doing them for the sake of checking things off a list, but you’re doing what makes you feel sparkly, that makes you feel excited.
So manifesting generators, Elon Musk, me, and you, obviously. We have a lot in common with Elon Musk.
Bethany: Obviously is the culmination of these two types. So you’ve got these two very different types, actually. You’ve got the manifester that is all about like in the moment inspiration and initiation, and then you got the generator that is steady over time.
So, being a manifesting generator is kind of like driving a race car, but there’s a lot of obstacles on the course. There’s a lot of like oh shit, I flew over that speed bump really fast. I have to course correct here. Because again, you have these two very opposing energies.
So it’s important to let the process be very messy as a manifesting generator. To just like when you feel the initiation, do it. Then if you have to go back and course correct or clean up because you skip steps, that’s where the generator piece comes in.
Now manifesting generators are here to, it’s one of two things really, is they’re either here to bring a bunch of things that don’t seemingly go together into one completely new codex, into a new system, or they’re here to master many different things in their lifetime.
So manifesting generators are the ones that are more likely to skip, like completely change careers throughout their life. Or they take systems that don’t necessarily seem like they fit, but they basically download or channel an entirely new system. So manifesting generators are really here to break rolls.
Becca: I feel so heard. Oh my gosh. This is amazing. So how do we know what we are? Are there more accurate tests than others? Or is it just plain and simple? What can my audience do to find out what they are?
Bethany: Google to Human Design, and you’ll need to know your birth time, location, date, but the exact time of birth is really important. Because even if it’s different from an hour, your chart can change drastically.
Becca: Okay. So if you’re an hour off, your chart will be probably different.
Bethany: It’s not likely that your time will be different, which is what we just talked about, but there are other elements of the chart that are likely to change throughout the day.
Becca: Yeah, I love that. Okay, so can you give us an example of like how you would use all of this knowledge that you have with someone who has a business, and they’re trying to problem solve in their business? How do you use that chart and guide them with your business knowledge?
Bethany: So it happens in one of two ways. So not just one of two ways. There are a lot of different ways that this goes down exactly but.
Becca: 17 and a half ways exactly to be precise.
Bethany: 17.674 exactly. So I’m thinking of two examples. The first example is actually working with teams really matters because every type has their own particular energy. So in 2020, I started working with these two women who’d worked together for a long time. They were just at this point in their relationship where they were both feeling well, one because she was a manifester was feeling a bit angry. That’s the not self-theme of a manifester. Then the projector was feeling disappointed and like unappreciated.
But what was actually going on is you have a manifester that’s all about initiation. Then you have the projector, which is about waiting for the invitation. Those are two completely opposite different ways of moving through business.
So there were these rifts in their partnership because they didn’t understand why the other didn’t operate the way that they did. Right? It’s very different leadership style. So when we did their co-charts and looked at them, and it’s like okay, you’re here to initiate. You’re here to like divvy up tasks.
You’re here, the projector’s here. She kind of needs to wait for the invitation. It then became very easy for them to execute together because they learn to speak the language of the other one. It isn’t like oh, she’s just being lazy because she’s not taking initiative. She’s not overly controlling because she’s doing everything herself and not asking for help. So they went on to have a half a million dollar profit the very next year, and they were on the verge of shutting their business down.
Becca: Oh my gosh, that’s amazing.
Bethany: I just got goose bumps. Yeah.
Becca: When you have teams or when you have other people that you own businesses with, these little things are what matter. I coach this group of four women and everyone on the planet told them five years ago do not go into business with four total women. They split it 25% each, right. The lawyers were like angry at them. The lawyers are like this is going to go down in flames. This is ridiculous.
I came in as their business coach. The first thing that we did was we spent six months on getting to know each other’s personality types, getting to understand how each other operates. What is her strength? What is her weakness? How is it going to show up for her? We went deep into this, and then problem solving and how to communicate. We got very clear on the communication between them as the foundation of their business owning before we ever even got into anything else.
Now they’re four years in. They’re making seven figures, they’re so thrilled with the career that they have with each other. They’re like best friends. I just don’t think that that is talked about enough. Like, there’s just so much you should hire help. Or you should go into business with people and hope that it works out. Good luck. It’s like no. Just like a marriage. Like it takes so much work and so much effort to lay that foundation for it to even be healthy to blossom into something successful.
Bethany: Yeah, absolutely. It really is a process of, exactly as you said, identifying strengths and weaknesses. Then also really identifying what helps the other person feel seen and appreciated because that’s such an important part of business culture that people often overlook.
Becca: So if I had to describe you, it would be very difficult, but you are very, you’re unlike me in a lot of ways. You’re like me in a lot of ways too, but you’re like my fairy friend. Like I think of you as just being wispy and feminine. I’ve watched you dance under the moonlight. What were we doing? Why were we dancing under the moonlight? We were talking to the gods. I don’t know.
Bethany: Uh huh. Probably something like that.
Becca: We were talking to the gods, dancing under the moonlight. You’ve read my oracle cards. You are just in another realm. I fucking love it. I want more of it in my life. How do you feel like you became this way? Was this just something that you have always been drawn to? Is this just like who you are?
Or, I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you have had a lot of loss in your life. Your brother, who we were just talking about that I dated, he passed away years ago. You also lost your sister, right? That is some really heavy, heavy shit. Did that push you more into this? Or what does that journey looked like?
Bethany: So going back to the very beginning, I always felt a lot of energy when I was a kid. Always. I was just a very sensitive child. But growing up in the Catholic Church and then also growing up with a scientist as a parental figure and everyone in my family as a doctor or lawyer, it was very linear. Very this is the way that the world works. We have our faith. This is our faith. Just a lot of that was shut down. Not in a mean or aggressive way. It’s just it wasn’t how I was raised.
But I always felt that there was something different, which got me in, is how I ended up in yoga. But even my approach to yoga before I experienced deep grief was very like what’s the neuroscience? What’s the anatomy? What’s the mindset piece?
While I felt the energetics, I definitely ignored it. I even remember my first weekend of yoga teacher training. I stood up to teach sun salutations, which is just the opening sequence of yoga. It was day two of the training. We’d learned the sequence the night before. I taught them for the first time like I’ve been doing it for a thousand years.
I remember sitting down at doors, and everybody was like what was that? What just happened? I was like I have no idea but I know that I was meant to be a yoga teacher. Even if I do a million other things, I will do this for the rest of my life.
Then it was actually the day after Luke’s funeral, or maybe it was afternoon. I don’t know. That week is absolutely a blur. But everybody was up at the house. You know this. There’s a beautiful pond behind my parent’s house, and I was walking down to the lake. Just needed a time. Like I needed to take a breath by myself. Someone ran up and grabbed my hand. I felt this just like so much love search through my body. I turned to see who it was, and there wasn’t anybody there.
Bethany: I was I like out loud I was like hey, Lukey. Hey. Still though. So that was a really beautiful moment, but I still ignored it. Then I went through a pretty intense depression. Of course, like Luke was my best friend. You know he thought I hung the moon, and it’s hard to lose the person who thinks that you’re perfect.
Becca: I know.
Bethany: Yeah, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It was about eight months later, and I just couldn’t shake it. I was doing the yoga. I was doing the mindset work. I was doing all of these things. Then all of a sudden, in the same week, I’m living in Charleston, South Carolina, and an acupuncturist in town calls me. She said that that week three different people, without knowing, three people she’d never heard of and without knowing each other all called her and tried to book a session with her for me.
She told them I’m not taking on new clients. But the third time somebody called, she was like okay, clearly I need to work with you. So she called me, and she’s very in high demand. So that was very special. I went in and I was laying on the table, and I’ve got cups on me and needles everywhere.
About halfway through, I felt this iceberg in my chest start to just like, just broke. I took this huge breath, and I realized I hadn’t taken a full breath in eight months. All of a sudden, I walked out of the session, and it was like life had been very gray. All of a sudden, I saw everything in vibrant Technicolor again. My depression, it was gone. Later, I learned that lungs are our grief point. It’s where energetically we hold on to our grief. So I was like okay, I’m good. This is amazing.
Again, when my sister passed away, at that point, I was catatonic honestly. Like I’d done all this work to come back to life. My sister passed away, I couldn’t function. I mean, I went to therapy. I did my yoga. I knew at this point, it had to be something deeper. That’s when I got really into what everybody would call woo, like reiki and talking to angels and learning how to channel.
Becca: I don’t think there is another option. Yeah, like there is no, if you’re not woo then you are in a great place because you haven’t been forced to go there. Like I didn’t necessarily think that much about the afterlife, because I was entitled enough to not have to think about it that much. As soon as my number one fan, my biggest lover, my best friend, my mom. Like my mom and I had a very special, I’m realizing now the more that I’m talking to other people about their relationships with their mom since she passed that I’m now seeing that mine and hers was a very special relationship.
When she passed, there was no other option. It was like no, I can’t go on without talking to her. There is no way. The first week after she died, I was googling and YouTubing everything I possibly could about the afterlife and like how to communicate with her. So I just think that as you’re telling the story, it’s like you didn’t have an option at that point. Like both of your siblings, you’re only a sibling group of three, correct. So when they both left this earthly world, you had to find out more.
Bethany: Yeah, had to. There really wasn’t any other option. Sometimes it’s the only way to put yourself back together. So what is known as in the spiritual world is like the veil is lifted, right? So all of a sudden, the space between worlds, between here and the now after, gets very, very thin and you feel everything.
So it’s not only do you feel the people that have passed, but you can also feel people’s true intentions. You could feel like if somebody’s bullshitting you through a text message. It’s almost like you. So what’s very important is learning how to turn that dial up and down as you see fit. Because once you’ve been exposed to that awakening, you can’t, there’s no sweeping it under the rug. So the next thing is to learn how to control and protect and stay very clear and clean with it all.
Becca: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it would be a heavy weight to carry, especially because humans are still humans. Someone could be bullshitting you on a text, but that’s just because they are in a chaotic place in their life and they’re not a bad person. You have to be able to have that duality and realize like this person is bullshitting me right now. I still love them. I know that they’re in a weird place. Like, you have to have that ability. So I completely agree.
Bethany: Yeah, absolutely.
Becca: Do you still communicate or get messages from Luke or your sister?
Bethany: Sometimes they’re more present than others. Luke is kind of always around. So.
Becca: Sounds about right.
Bethany: Yeah, yeah for sure. Sometimes, I mean there have been moments in my life over the past couple years where I’m like can I please just have some privacy? Like, can I just figure this out on own?
Becca: You know what’s so funny is I feel like that was our conversation when we were dating. Like, Luke is amazing but man he is. When he likes something, he likes it. I can imagine how much he liked you. I imagine he is still with you all of the time. So it is just funny to me that you’re saying this at all.
Bethany: Yeah, especially if I’m getting off the path. Honestly, that’s when he shows up the most. He’ll just start literally like flinging things off the walls. So I remember I made a misaligned decision. This was right when I moved back to Kentucky, and I decided to do this thing. I knew it wasn’t the right thing, but I was going to do it anyway.
In one day, I walked downstairs to the basement. Then as soon as I walked back up upstairs, as I’m walking up the stairs, I hear a shelf collapse in the basement. Then I walk into the front room, which is this huge, great room in my parent’s house, and I walk into the kitchen. A painting that’s been hanging there for five years falls off the wall.
Then I go up to my bedroom and then walk back out into the hallway and another bam, crash. The mirror that’s been in my bedroom that’s been hanging there for years just falls off. Nothing is broken. Everything’s fine. But within the matter of an hour, three things fell off the wall.
Becca: I love it. I love it. I have been. I’m on a whole ‘nother journey since Mom passed. She is communicating with me often. She uses my dreams mostly, but they’re not dreams. It’s not a dream. It’s very different than a dream. It’s hard to describe. In dreams, I feel like the story is being told passively. Like you don’t really know what’s going on. You’re just walking through clouds. I don’t know what you’re doing in your dreams.
But these dreams that I’m having of her aren’t memories of her. Like in the dream, we both know that she has passed. She knows she has passed. I know she has passed, and we were talking about her passing. It feels extremely realistic.
One of the ones that sticks out to me the most. Well, first of all, in every single dream, she is stunningly beautiful. She’s about 35 years old. She’s like my age now. One of the dreams I asked her why do you keep looking like this? She said, “I get to just choose whatever body I want. See.” Then she like morphed into the 66 year old version that I know her most recently as. Then she went back into 35. She was like this is just the one that I choose.
Then I later Googled other people’s dreams from people that have passed. I saw hundreds of people talking about how their loved ones only come back to them in their younger, fitter, healthier bodies. I thought that that was insane that other people had had that same experience.
So one of the main dreams that sticks out to me the most was she was standing right in front of me. She was so close to my face. I remember her being very beautiful. She said to me, she said, “Becca, you wouldn’t be so sad if you just understood.” She said, she said, “You just don’t get it yet. Humans can’t see it yet.”
She said, “But every person that has ever died, and every person that is alive right now, and every person that will ever live in the future, we’re all right here. We’re all here together. But time and space and all of that is just something of the human world. Like you can’t see what’s really happening. If you could, you just wouldn’t be sad anymore.” I have held on to that for so fucking long. Every day of my life I think about it. It brings me so much comfort. So much comfort.
Bethany: Yeah, grief is for the living.
Bethany: It really is. Even when both Bonnie and Luke passed away, it’s they’re fine. I just had this deep internal knowing. I got a lot of messages from them around the same thing, but they’re fine. I’m the one that’s hurting.
Becca: Yes. Well, and interestingly, my mom’s best friend came up to me at the funeral. She said, “Becca, I had this dream about your mom.” She said, “It wasn’t like a dream. It was like really real. She knew that she had passed, and I knew she had passed.” I was like uh-huh. Like I had already had these dreams.
I said what’d she say? Karen said that mom said you just don’t understand. That she said you just don’t understand. You don’t need to be sad about me. I’m having the best time. She said and I get to be with my kids whenever I want to be, and I can be with both of them at the same time.
Bethany: Yeah, because it’s a time is nonlinear. Things just work completely differently on the plane that they’re existing on. What’s really beautiful about dreams, and it’s the same experience actually being in deep grief is that you’re devoid of ego. Right?
So when we go into a dream state, we go into, our brainwaves shift into this theta to theta state. It’s a very deep meditation. That’s why you can really develop the skill to have access to this all of the time. Because it’s just if you can move away from your preconceived notions of what you’re conditioned to believe this world is then you can talk to the people that you love whenever you want.
Becca: Yeah, and that’s what I’ve been learning by YouTubing mediums. They all say the same thing, which is this is a skill that you can hone. You’re not just either born with a superpower or not. You can have an inkling of it as by nature, but you can dive into it and study it and like really try to understand it better. Your skills will get sharper, just like anything. You can also do mushrooms and acid and ayahuasca and open up your realms a little bit more.
Bethany: Yes, absolutely. There is, I have a lot I could say about that topic, but I will say to just be very mindful like who you’re doing it with, how you’re doing it. There’s a lot of energy. I’ve talked to some of my dear friends about this that are indigenous and have worked with these plants for generations.
I hope this, whatever, fuck it. This might be triggering for some people, but there is definitely this sensation that these plant spirits are being abused right now. They’re being so massively excavated. There are actually like thousands of ayahuasca ceremonies every weekend in LA County.
They’re being held by people that are not necessarily connected to the plant spirit in the way, and they’re being used in this way that’s very masculine. It’s very scientific. That’s very like excavating. That’s like I’m going to use you to get this thing. It’s very important if you do decide, this is the general you, like if you do decide to work with these plants, they are incredibly sacred.
I actually had a dear friend who went through a quite intense psychedelic trauma last year. Doing psilocybin has been one of the most, not one of the most. I’ve had a lot of like really incredible, beautiful spiritual experiences, but it is a fast track to awakening. It’s important that you do all the work that you can on the physical plane first.
Then when you are mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually prepared, the plants will call you. It won’t be a calling like I heard about it on a podcast so I’m going to go do it. You will feel something like a deep stirring within your being. It may come to you in a dream, for example. Like it’s time to sit with me. It’s time to visit and then go. Your teacher will be presented to you, where you’re meant to do it, how you’re meant to sit with the medicine. I also wish this was a conversation people were having more.
Becca: I love this so much. I want more of this. We should have a whole ‘nother episode on this. I’ve never even considered everything that you just said. It is enlightening for sure. I have considered the part about do everything you can on your physical being first. Like you can’t have terrible habits daily wanting to have an awakening and going straight to psilocybin or ayahuasca. You have to do the lowest hanging fruit stuff first.
My husband comes to mind, Mark. Like if anyone has done the work, it is my husband. He’s been on this journey for years of doing the work, the therapies, and the mindset stuff, and just the inner child stuff and everything. Then for him, going to do ayahuasca or getting into the psychedelics was just a cherry on top, but it was more than a cherry on top. It was the most awakening thing that could have ever happened to him.
When he came back from it, he’s done ayahuasca three times now. When he comes back from it, I mean he’s just in tears at the beauty of our world and in tears of the same. Okay, so get this. None of my audience will know what this means. This is just for us, I guess.
But do you remember that his vision in Costa Rica? The same woman comes to him in every ayahuasca sitting. The same woman. She tells him the same thing. So I don’t know if you remember this, but in Costa Rica, she was telling him that his duty on Earth is to raise powerful women.
She said, including basically your partner, your children, but also more. We’re realizing now that he is managing a lot of women at Massage Strong, managing a lot of women at Sterling Hot Yoga, but it’s more than managing. He’s basically life coaching a lot of them and really helping them change their life as well.
So any who, his ayahuasca experience has been really healing for me as he’s telling me about it. As he’s trying to explain that, going through ayahuasca helped him to understand that where we are now and the afterlife and the before life, it’s all in the same field. It’s all in the same plane. We’re all here together. The human existence is just a teeny, tiny, teeny, weeny, little pit stop for the soul. Just a little bitty testing ground, and then we flutter off, and we go back to our souls elsewhere.
I just truly believe it so much. There was a part of me when mom died that I was like I cannot believe that I have to go another 60 years without seeing my mom. But then the more I think about it, the more I think about it from that perspective that I just was talking about. It’s like well, 60 years is a teeny, little blip. 60 years is just a footstep to the soul. It’s nothing.
Bethany: It’s nothing. It’s our resistance to time that actually causes some of us the most pain. Think about the way that we treat time. It’s like okay, I’m killing time, wasting time, don’t have enough time. Like if we could just reconfigure our relationship to this idea that is something that the human mind made up anyway, how much relief we could feel because time can go by. Like in the blink of an eye, 60 years will go by, and you’ll be looking back on your life.
But I do want to go back to what you were saying about Mark. Because it’s a really perfect example of everything, everything around us always has a frequency. Our thoughts have a frequency, food has a frequency. These plants have a frequency. The things that we encode into our physical body through the food that we eat, the shows that we watch, the thoughts that we have, who we spend time with, this all energetically imprints on us.
So when Mark went to sit in ceremony with Mama Aya, he was coming from a place of purity and love and therefore that was what was reflected back to him. So if you’re going at it from a place of anger, violence, eating fast food all the time, not meditating, a very lot of Ragis is what we call it in the yogic, in Vedanta. Like a lot of just angst and pain and anxiety, that is what will be reflected back.
That’s why some people go to sit with Aya, and they have these nightmarish experiences. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with your experience, but the plants will show you your truth. It’s very important to understand that your truth is ever changing, ever evolving. So, the plants will always show you the next step of your journey. So, live your journey first and then go into the medicines so that you have a more, honestly like a pleasurable experience with them.
Becca: Yeah, well it’s interesting that you say that. So the few times that I have done psilocybin and acid. I haven’t done ayahuasca, but every time has been this overarching theme of curiosity and awe. That’s the way I can explain it. Just curiosity and complete awe.
One time, I watched a fire burning for hours, and I was so happy and enthralled. I think that that is my true core of life. I think that’s why I get so excited about business. It’s why I get so excited about fitness. I am constantly in a state of curiosity and then complete awe. I go back and forth between that.
I think that obviously things get in the way of that. I’m not saying that that’s where I live constantly, but I think that that is my true foundation. So it’s interesting that you’re saying that because that has been my theme every time I have done any sort of psychedelic at all.
Bethany: When used correctly, they just open you up to universal truths. It’s the same thing as grief. Grief is opening you up to this new plane where you have, you’re more in a liminal state where you have access to speaking to someone that you’re really close to beyond what you know, have known to be true your entire life.
Becca: It makes you more open and compassionate to what everybody else has gone through.
Becca: So all of a sudden, I’m understanding little sayings like in a totally different way, right? Like when someone says yes, they might have passed away, but they’re with you all the time. I’ve heard that. I’ve heard that my whole life. I’m like cool. That’s nice. That’s a nice thing to think until you feel it. You’re like no. No, she’s actually with me all the time. Like, I feel my mom with me all the time. I see things. I don’t know.
I’m just like wow, so many people have been through this. So many people have written about this. So many people have felt such deep pain. In that, there is so much beauty that as a collective group of humans that we have experienced this emotion together on such a deep level, and you’re never alone in whatever you’re feeling. I think that that’s amazing.
Bethany: It’s amazing.
Becca: It’s very comforting.
Bethany: Because it’s the disillusion of ego. When we’re able to move past the conscious mind, past our ego, that’s when intellect becomes wisdom. That’s when we can not just explain the things that we feel, but we explain things that we think, but we embody the experience that we’re having.
Becca: I want to thank you for being on this podcast. I’m going to give you just a few minutes to tell my audience how they can work with you. But before I do, I want to tell you that I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but you inspired me big time as a coach.
There was this one time that we were in Costa Rica years ago. I was asking you. I was brand new to coaching. I think I had been coaching for a few months or something. I asked you, I was like so, at the time, I knew nothing. I was like something had come about. You told me that in order to work with you, your clients had to pay you $600 a month. This was, again, years ago. I was like what? What? That’s even possible.
You’re explaining it to me. You’re like yeah, well think about the results that I’m giving them. Think about not just the time that they’re buying from me, but think about what I am giving to them. Think about what they are receiving and this transaction of money and energy. I don’t know. You did all the woo-woo stuff that you’re so good at. You just like implanted a download of understanding into my soul.
It just inspired me like crazy that you could actually live off of coaching, that you could make a career out of coaching, that you could help people and be paid well for it. So thank you.
Bethany: You’re welcome. You inspire me to so much. I’ve loved watching you.
Becca: Thank you.
Bethany: Grow and evolve. We could have a whole other podcast about how to rate and price things, especially in the coaching industry, but I’m a firm believer of being very clear on the value of the transformation that you’re providing.
Bethany: Yeah, absolutely. I think with coaches too. So I think with pricing with business coaching is really simple. I mean, it’s like you get to look at the ROI of it. So now, my price has continued to increase as the demand increases as business does. So working with me one on one now is $8,000 a month. So when someone comes to me, and they’re like how dare you, which happens a lot. You’d be surprised. How dare you charge this?
It’s like well, not that I have to explain, but like look at these people making X amount more because they’re working with me and their return on investment. Do you find it to be in the spirituality world harder because there might not be ROI? But I guess there is ROI because you are a business coach. You’re showing them business ROI.
Bethany: Okay, so I just got back from a Mastermind weekend down in Miami where I was with a group of 15 women that are all making seven figures plus that are all in the spiritual industry in some way. Some of them are business coaches, some of them are inspirational speakers, some of them are artists and creatives.
But there is a way that I don’t want to say money’s made up. Like money is a very real thing, and it’s something that really matters, but I always move by raising the consciousness of the planet first. That is my prerogative. That’s what I’m here to do. Then the prosperity is a byproduct of that. There are so many different ways.
Some people feel really comfortable having like $44 a month memberships, and they can become millionaires off of that. Some of them do high level coaching. So it’s five, ten, 15, $20,000 a month to work with them. It’s all about what feels aligned to your dharma and your soul’s purpose. Whatever that is, is where I really encourage people to move into go.
But there is a nervous system regulation that needs to happen as people raise their prices. Because the thing that happens that I’ve seen as people raise their prices to pass based on an industry standard or based on what somebody else is charging. Then they can’t hold it and everything collapses because they start to over give and to people please.
This is very much a part of standing in feminine leadership and holding your center, right? Can you hold the container and the boundary? Because that’s a big part of what we’re doing for our clients too is showing them what it means to respect yourself and the other in the same. I’m going off on a little bit of a tangent.
But with the spiritual industry, especially spiritual business coaching, had a huge reclamation last year. Actually, quite a few huge coaches got cancelled. The reason that so much was happening is because they were making these big promises that you can’t necessarily, I don’t know if you can’t. But there was just a way of marketing that was pulling people in that weren’t ready for the level of transformation.
Then some people, I want to say this in a way that’s really respectful. There were some policies that it was time to be upgraded. Right? It was time to do things in a different way. I think that’s really, really beautiful. But one of the big things that shifted was the way that spiritual business owners created price points. I think it was really important.
Becca: Yeah, we should do a whole ‘nother episode on that.
Bethany: Yeah, I don’t even know if I answered your question. But.
Becca: No, I like it. How can my audience find you and work with you?
Bethany: So Instagram is the easiest. Bethany Bubenzer is my Instagram. I’m on there just having fun all the time. Working with me, there are a few different options. If you’re looking to grow your business in a way that’s very aligned to your dharma, I offer group coaching programs and one on one. Then if you’re looking, you’re just curious and wanting to get into any of this, or I would always start with a Human Design reading, which you can book just straight off of my Instagram.
Becca: I love it. How do you spell your Instagram handle?
Bethany: BE-T-H-A-N-Y B-U-B-E-N-Z-E-R.
Becca: Yes, Bethany Bubenzer. Okay, I love you Bethany. Thank you so much for being on. I can’t wait to see you again.
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