I remember crying in my car not that long ago. I was sitting in the parking lot of my workplace pumping breast milk for my newborn who is now 4. I was crying because I was so ANGRY.
Not like “kind of ticked-having-a-bad-day” but straight Hulk-pissed-hear-me-roar. I was overwhelmed and spread thin with exhaustion, my finances, and this business I was trying to start.
I worked so much: double shifts, days, nights, weekends. It didn’t matter, I was willing to work to try my damnedest to get ahead of the bills and every single effing month I wound up back at zero in my bank account. This repeating cycle was all I knew for the longest time. Although during this car-cry, I was almost 30, my late teens and my entire decade of 20’s consisted of working myself to the bone, yet still clipping coupons and surfing Groupon, and asking myself on repeat, “What the hell am I missing?” I remember looking at friends who would casually agree to go on vacations or weekend trips with each other, thinking, ‘how the hell do they have the money for this? I work around the clock and once my bills are paid, I am lucky to grab lunch with a girlfriend.”
It wasn’t until I had honestly hit an emotional and financial rock bottom that I made a change. It wasn’t until the final time I sacrificed my entire weekend with my newly wed husband to work back-to-back double shifts yet again. It wasn’t until the final time I agreed to go to dinner with friends for a night out and pretended I wasn’t hungry to save a few dollars. It wasn’t until I found myself 28 years old, crying in my shitty-ass car that I said, I AM NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE. I made a massive shift. I decided I was clearly missing some key piece of life-education and became fuck-everything-I-think-I-know-OPEN and receptive to new advise, new coaching, and became hell-bent-for-glory, will-pay-anything-to-get-out-of-this-misery-real-with-myself.
Most of you know I am open about my past. My over-eating, over-drinking, over-dating-all-the-mommy-issues-sleazeball-men, tattooing weird shit on my body, borrowing money from people, and living in a state of broke-as-hell and ‘WTF’. I have never lost sight of that part of me.
I want you to understand that there IS a different way. My car-cry was only 4 years ago. Four years since rock bottom and steering wheel punching. I knew I couldn’t live my best life, be the best wife, best mom, or best daughter if I spent my days walking around in a fog of financial obsession.
I decided to walk a new walk. I went SAVAGE on learning from the best, breaking old habits, goal setting, ripping open my beliefs and mindset, and now I can happily say that I am profiting somewhere between 20 and 25 thousand dollars every thirty days. My current and soon-to-be-reached goal is to profit 40k per month. Now that’s the type of WTF I want to live in. And guess what? I only work 8 am to 2:30 everyday. You can’t MAKE me give up a Saturday or Sunday from my family. Wanna talk about a TURN AROUND? Holy shit.
When people look at me now and they say, “Ah, I wish I had the ability to do what you’ve done but I ….(enter excuse here),” my first response is to feel frustrated at the closed-off mindset, but then I remind myself that they’re just stuck in the cycle I was in and haven’t had their rock bottom awakening yet. Or maybe they have hit rock bottom but are white-knuckling their excuses to hard that they cant see out. Sometimes it’s just ONE tool missing from the tool belt of a well-intentioned person.
People that make changes this big in their life are not magical unicorns. What you are seeing when you hear stories like this is someone who has seeked guidance, been vulnerable enough to realize they don’t have the answers right now and were hell-bent enough to go get them. You’re seeing someone who has allowed another person to listen and positively critique their mindset in a way that opens it to new ideas, even when they seem so foreign. Where I live, (Kentucky) life and business coaching is such a foreign idea. We are about 20 years behind on everything, where in California, New York and Florida, everyone and their sister has some type of life coach to help them thrive. I used to think Living in Kentucky was a set-back to grow my business but now I realize how fun it is to watch people catch up and realize the importance to have an accountability partner, a war buddy, and a mentor.
Today, I was called to write this because I was in Whole Foods, a place that my husband and I both frequent to do our laptop work because of their amazing coffee and lunch bar and beautiful open air setting. The barista said to me today, “Your husband and you both come in here all the time, and you guys just seem so much like you have your shit together. The other staff members and I call you the “couple who has their shit together.”
Guys, I laughed so hard at this. I.laughed.so.hard. I texted my husband. He replied with laughter as well. How did I become the girl who had to turn down wedding invitations to my best friends wedding because I couldn’t afford the damn gas to drive myself out of state….to the girl who has her shit together?
I think coaches like me are good at what they do because we remember the pain. I am not pulling the wool over people’s eyes and promising them false hopes having never lived in the trenches. I am helping other people break free from their limiting stories and make money for themselves by crawling out of the trenches I used to live in with them. I will never forget the pain. One of my biggest fears used to be that as I became more successful, I would forget my past and become ‘spoiled & privileged.’ I realize now that it’s impossible. The struggle is a part of me. A part of my story. It is ingrained in my brain and I am so, so thankful for that now.
You are not your excuse. I don’t care how many kids you have. I don’t care how broke you are. I don’t care if you’re missing a fucking leg or two. Get out of your head. Ask for help. I am telling you right now, that everything you could ever want is on the other side of all that fear and all those excuses. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to choose to level up.
2020 is here. Your life is moving forward with or without you. Make a New Year’s resolution that sticks and spreads like wildfire. Get an accountability coach to push you to your next level. Start saying ‘no’ to anything that isn’t an absolute ‘HELL YES’ and start thriving in your skin. Set boundaries. Set goals. Set clarity. Find your fierceness. Find your fears. Then throat punch them.