Hello, everyone. This is John Richardson, the head coach at Hell Yes Coaching, sometimes referred to as Becca’s right hand man. I’ve hosted this podcast once and been a guest a few times. So some of you may already know me. If you don’t, I’ve been with Hell Yes Coaching for over four years now and have been friends with Becca and Mark for longer than that.
While I love being on this podcast, and podcasts in general, the reason I’m here today is not a good one. As some of you may have seen on social media by now, or talked with Becca herself, Becca’s mother Kathleen is not well. She has cancer. This was obviously not something that was expected nor is it something that comes delicately.
The same way cancer attacks someone’s body, the news attacks everyone down to their soul. I’ve had the privilege of meeting Kathleen. She is a wonderful, kind, and loving person. I want to send my personal and my family’s prayers for her healing and for her family strength as they endure a tough road ahead. I encourage everyone listening to this show now to pause the show and to take a moment to send good vibes, prayers, thoughts, and whatever that positive energy looks like to you to Kathleen and her family.
I talked to Becca yesterday, and she mentioned that her perspective on everything has changed in times of grief, and especially in times of just really crappy news that comes out of the blue, we often find ourselves at a loss. What was most important just five seconds ago seems so trivial. What we’ve been working so hard on and seemed meaningless. We could be trucking along with very few cares in the world, or specifically only one care, and then the next moment he totally consumed by a world changing diagnosis or death or sickness.
Since this is a show about entrepreneurship, and since entrepreneurs are people, and people are not immune to dramatic changes in perspective, I’d like to take a minute to talk about perspective today. Perspective means the ability to have a point of view of something in relation to its importance to you. In other words, to view or think about something but the ability to maintain the correct level of appropriateness and importance. Time often helps with this.
In coaching, I like to discuss what I call processing perspective. How quickly can we react to something as if you’ve had five years of time to feel it, to think about it, and to live it? Imagine how it would be if you could process five years of perspective within five seconds.
When I first started coaching, I remember a few of my very first consults. The consult would go great, and then I would get really excited about coaching this person. I’d be waiting all week for them to tell me if they wanted to work with me. Some did, but some chose another coach. I would be devastated. It was so crazy that a person I literally didn’t know a week before could make me feel so bad.
Now remember, this person didn’t do anything to me. They weren’t mean. They didn’t cause me harm. They just simply chose another coach, but it freaking hurt until I processed the perspective. At the time I was a new coach. I didn’t realize that in the next four years, I would have hundreds of consults. That this was just a small bump in the road, and that I would be fine.
I mentioned time helps with perspective. I see this in my kids. They have very limited life experience so every setback is brutal. Not getting ice cream after dinner can be catastrophic. I’ve had my fair share of life experiences. I’ve been married, I’ve had kids, I’ve officiated a wedding, given a eulogy, traveled extensively, competed in high level athletic events, and have been fully self-employed for quite some time now.
All of this helps with processing perspective. But unless we are intentional about keeping perspective, we can often lose sight of it. In other words, if we do not constantly remind ourselves about what matters most, we will forget.
Here’s an example. Despite doing well financially the last few years, I still have the tendency to fall into a scarcity mindset around having enough. Like my well is going to run dry, or I need to stockpile more, or it’s really just this endless feeling of needing to produce. I work on it, and for the most part, I do pretty well, but I am human. Sometimes I just feel really bad about it.
One day a person I know moved away for a job. They explained to me that it was a nice paycheck, but it wasn’t a place that they were all that excited to move to. But they moved anyway. I thought to myself about this situation. Would I move to where they were going for a nice paycheck? Would I move there for like a very nice paycheck? Heck, would I move there for a million dollars? Would I even moved there for $10 million a year and not even have to work?
The answer was a resounding no. I wouldn’t do it. Money was just not that important to me. This stopped me in my tracks. Why do I occasionally allow something that is not that important to me prevent me from focusing on the things that are?
Here’s another illustration. A friend and I were talking about how much we enjoyed being around our wife and kids. This somehow led to a conversation about how much money it would take for us to travel for a year and not see them. We both concluded that there wouldn’t be an amount of money, not even a billion dollars, for me to see my family for a whole year.
So as I think about the times that money seems scarce, or that I want more, it is easy for me to keep perspective that there isn’t an amount of money that would make me move or keep me from my family. As long as I have them, I have enough. This is perspective.
Entrepreneurship is hard. There are many challenges. There are many setbacks. Success often requires a myopic singular focus on a goal that demands undivided attention. This can lead to a loss of perspective. If this is you, or if you’ve experienced a setback, a challenge, a hard event, slow down for a second. Process some perspective. What is the most important thing to you right now? Do you still have it?
I started this episode off talking to you about Becca’s mom, Kathleen. She has cancer. Now I haven’t spoken with her, and I may be off base on this, but I would bet she is fighting. She is keeping perspective on her family and on the will to pursue what is most important to her.
This world is a fall in place. Although a times extremely beautiful, it is inevitable that bad things will happen. In the moments of grief, sadness, loss, and challenging times, I encourage you to always remember what is most important, to always stay focused on what means the most to you. On why you do what you do, on who it is that you want to be. Tough times don’t last forever, and this too shall pass.
Kathleen, Becca, and the entire Pike and James family, please know that we love you. We are praying for you, and are sending the warmest and best wishes we can. Have a great day.