The Hell Yes Entrepreneur with Becca Pike | When Your Spouse Doesn't Approve of Your InvestmentsWe just wrapped up the Thirty More launch, and while we were in the launch process, I had many people come to me saying they wanted to join the mastermind, but they weren’t sure how to get their spouses on board. This can look a bunch of ways but, for this episode, I’m addressing the women who have men in their lives who are not on board with them investing in their business in big ways.

So, what do you do when your spouse doesn’t approve of your investments? The chances are, your spouse hasn’t been consuming the same information you have. They might not understand your business and why you need to invest this kind of money. So, the key here is asking for support around a decision you’ve made, instead of asking for permission to make the decision.

Tune in this week to discover what to do when your spouse doesn’t approve of your investments. I’m sharing the subtle differences between asking for permission versus asking for support, why your spouse has a natural inclination to try to keep you safe, and why, if they give you a flat-out no at first, that doesn’t mean you can’t sell them on the idea.

If you are ready to create your first six-figure year, your next business investment needs to be Three More. Three More is where you’ll get access to our video vault of everything I did to create a highly successful brick-and-mortar company, as well as a booming online company. It’s not luck. It’s a process. And you can have it by clicking here. 

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why I believe you shouldn’t want to wreck your home life in pursuit of your business.
  • What your spouse is probably thinking when you want to invest in yourself.
  • Why I never allow a client to sign on with me if their spouse isn’t on board.
  • The difference between asking for permission versus asking for support.
  • Why it’s perfectly understandable that your spouse doesn’t see this investment the same way you do… yet.
  • What it sounds like when you ask for support from your spouse, having already made the decision to invest.
  • Why you need your spouse’s support, but you don’t necessarily need them to believe in you.
  • How to sell the idea of your investment as something that’s going to grow your business like crazy.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

Download Transcript 1

What’s up friends? Welcome to episode number 81 of The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast. I am your host, Becca Pike, and it is time for your weekly dose of Hell Yes Coaching. Let’s go.

Hey, guys. I’m Becca Pike and welcome to The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast, the number one show for entrepreneurs looking to create their first six-figure year. If you’ve got the drive and you know how to hustle but you’re not sure where to channel your energy, we’ve got the answers. Let’s dive into today’s show.

What’s up friends? Oh, man, it has been a week. I have a lot to catch you guys up on. So we just wrapped up the Thirty More launch. Okay. Thirty More deadline is over for now. We will be releasing the next Thirty More deadline for the July 2023 rounds pretty soon. We’re actually going to be offering payment plans again. That is going to start in January. So keep your ears peeled. But we just wrapped it up. Guys, it was the most successful launch I’ve ever had. It was the most calm and easy launch I’ve ever had,

I’m going to be completely honest. The first few times I ever launched my mastermind, I felt very stressed about it. There’s a lot of moving parts. There’s all of the behind the scenes stuff, right? The selling. There is the event planning. I mean I’m planning to the entire event in Austin. Thank God for my online business manager, Nicole, who has basically taken that over for me and is planning the entire thing without me being there. So that is a huge piece of the puzzle that is now fulfilled.

But the selling of it and the email sequence of it. Then the actual application process where people are applying and the weight and the mental weight of who gets in and who doesn’t get in. We had the most applicants this round, but we also denied the most applicants this round. That’s hard. I mean, it’s hard for obvious reasons in the sense that I’m turning people away that are wanting to give me a lot of money, right.

But also, it’s hard in a different way too, which is I have someone sitting in front of me that wants to make a change in their business. They want to make a change in their life. They are looking to me for that help, and I’m telling them no for various reasons. That sucks in a lot of ways. It’s hard. But I do it for a reason. I have a purpose. I have the purposes lined out before they ever apply so I can follow those and stay true to myself for when they do apply.

There’s always times that I’m like maybe this person can just come in. Maybe it’s fine. I can break the rule this one time, and this person can come in. Thankfully, I have my team to be like no, we chose this. You chose this for a reason. So there’s that. So we’ve had more applicants than ever before. We’ve also denied more people than ever before.

But the biggest success of this mastermind launch is how easy it was. Like, I chose to listen to myself. I chose to do things the way that I would normally do them, which might seem obvious, but it’s not so much. I was taught for a long time that I had to have all of my emails like sequenced out before the launch. Everything needs to be in its place so that I could completely relaxed during the launch.

That’s not the way I did it this time. I wanted to lean more into my creativity. If you guys got an email from me on the days leading up to the deadline, that was just me in real time. I didn’t write those two weeks before. I didn’t have them ready two weeks before. I really just relied on my own creativity in real time, and it felt better. It felt good.

It felt more connected to my audience because I wasn’t just sending out drafts of emails that were happening two weeks after I wrote them. Like I would talk to someone on a consult, or I would see on social media the questions people were asking me, and then I would write an email specifically to those things. It made me feel much more connected, and it made me feel more at ease.

But this is the most I’ve ever felt disconnected from wanting the big sum of money that comes in with my Thirty More masterminds. Like it’s no secret that I’m getting really big paydays on these days. I’ve got 15 or 20 people coming in that are all paying me $12,000. This is all happening within one week. So one week can be an easy like $200,000/$250,000 week.

This is the first time that I just genuinely wasn’t thinking much at all about the money, at all. It was how do I want the quality of this container to look? How do I want it to feel, and how can I guarantee the results? I’m really proud of my team for helping me come up with guaranteeing the results even more this round.

This is the first round that we’re doing a brick and mortar and an online track. So yes, we have the total amount of people in Thirty More, but we’re going to do breakout sessions where they’re going to spend the majority of their time in either the brick and mortar track or the online track. This is going to allow more intimacy, more connection. There’s going to be more zeroed in coaching based on which track you’re in.

Thank you universe, believe it or not, but it ended up the end that we had almost exactly brick and mortar 50% and exactly online 50%, which was a worry that I was having. This was the first time we had ever done this. So there was a lot of hiccups that we could have imagined. I was a little worried we would end up with like three brick and mortar and 20 online, but we didn’t. It worked out perfectly well. So I’m so proud of that.

We’ve also added to the one on one coaching sessions to the packages. So now whenever someone has been accepted, they get to choose if they want to add one on one sessions with me. I wanted people to feel more connected to me even more than they already did. So we allowed that. A lot of people gobbled those up and took advantage of them. So I’m really happy that we did that.

So long story short, I’m just rambling, but this was the best launch. I am so unbelievably thankful for my team and for everyone that trusts me to help them with their business. Like, I just can’t believe that this is my life. I can’t believe that a girl who was a waitress six years ago turned millionaire massage therapist turned girl trying to figure out what the hell this coaching industry is and what to do about it and how to act. I mean shit. It’s just going now.

I wouldn’t say that it’s been easy. I would say the coaching industry has been definitely the harder business to build. To see how much impact it’s having now and to see the ball is really gaining momentum now, it’s really rolling. It’s really fucking cool. I’m just unbelievably thankful. I have so much gratitude.

Everyone that talks to me on Instagram, everyone that comments on my social media or sends me emails, like none of that goes by without me being super grateful for it. So thank you guys so much for this. Thank you for allowing us to have the most beautiful launch of all time. I’m so excited for the 2023 round. The next launch is going to be even better. We’re going to continue to just be this mastermind up to make it the best possible business mastermind you can be a part of.

So keep your ears peeled for January. We’re going to have a deadline for you guys to be a part of the payment plan option for the July round. Okay, moving on.

So this is going to be a quick hit, but I feel like I have to say this. So while I was launching Thirty More, I had many people come to me saying that they wanted to be a part of the mastermind, but they weren’t sure how to get their spouse on board. For the sake of this podcast, and for the pronouns, I am going to be using heterosexual man and woman marriage as an example and as if I’m talking to the wife.

So I’m going to be talking specifically to the women who have men in their lives who are not on board for them to invest in their business in really big ways. So, again, I had these people come to me, and they’re like, Becca, I want to be a part of the mastermind, but my husband is not on board. How do I convince him? What do I do to convince this man and make this happen for me?

My answer is always the same, but the first thing that I want to say is we don’t want to convince our husbands. We don’t want to do things behind their backs. We don’t want to do anything that is going to ruffle the feathers at home for our business.

One of the main reasons that we all have businesses is to provide a meaning and financial stability so that we can have a good home life. So we don’t want to wreck our home life in pursuit of our business. Okay. I stand by that forever fully, wholeheartedly.

The first thing that you’ve got to know is that your husband, he wants to keep you safe, okay? It’s just true. Husband 101, he wants to keep you safe. He views himself as your protector in a lot of ways. Even if that doesn’t feel like the dynamic that you have, that is built into him. He wants to help you, and he wants to keep you safe.

So when he sees a threat coming at you, he will block it. So when women go to their husbands, and they are asking permission to be a part of a mastermind that cost $25,000, the husband’s alarms are going to start going off. Is this a threat? Do I need to protect her from this? Do I need to protect her from making a decision that she is going to later regret?

So the first thing I tell women is like have some appreciation for your husband, right? Because even if it’s not the answer that you’re looking for, he is doing his best to provide for you, to protect you. One of the problems that I see though is that women are often asking for permission instead of support.

If you go to your husband as if you haven’t made the decision yet, and you are asking him, he is always going to choose to protect you. He is always going to choose to do what he thinks is protecting, which is keep the money in the nest, not to be touched, right? Because he might not have drank the Kool Aid of business coaching. He might not have been following along with the podcasts that you’ve been listening to for the last year. He might not be as onboard as you.

You’ve gone through all the stages of making a decision without him in your mind while you’re driving in your car, while you’re at your business, while you’re listening to the podcast. You are the one that is going through all the stages of figuring out that you want to invest. He hasn’t been there for all of that. So if he’s a little bit behind on the decision making that is okay, and 100% totally fine, right.

But when you go to him asking for permission as if you haven’t made the decision, he will always choose to protect you. Versus a very subtle difference, which is not asking for permission, but asking for support. Going to him instead of I haven’t made this decision, but I would like to, what do you think? Versus I’ve made the decision that I want to be in this. Now I just need your support. Right? Like, I’m not going to pull the trigger if you don’t want me to, but I’ve made the decision that I definitely want to be in this. I want you on board and I’m asking for your support.

Two totally different ways of thinking. Right? Like, they haven’t drank the Kool Aid. So if they say no to this, if you still go to them asking for support instead of permission, and they still say no, take a breath. That’s totally fine. Okay, the last thing that you want to do is ruffle the feathers in your marriage for something that you can invest in your business. But I tell people, I’m like listen. Maybe he just needs to drink the Kool Aid a little bit. Have you shown him the podcast? Have you sold it to him in a way that feels good to him? Okay.

So let’s say that a woman wants to come in. This actually happened. This is an example. A woman came to me and she’s like, “I want to grow my business. I want to make more revenue. I want to become part of Thirty More.” I’m like cool, that’s what we do. She said, “But my husband’s not on board because he thinks I work too much. He thinks I’m obsessed with work. He wants me to stop checking my emails at 8:00 p.m. and actually watch a movie with him instead of just like scrolling on Instagram “working”.”

I told her I was like well, it sounds like he’s misinformed about what Thirty More is. Have you been selling it to him as if it’s going to help you grow your business, as if it’s going to make you work harder, as if it’s going to give you an extra task for your business?

Or have you sold it to him as the mentor of this mastermind is a stickler for work-life balance. The mentor of this mastermind tells me that I should not be on my phone when I’m with my husband, that I should not be checking emails when I’m with my kids. Right? Like, how are you selling this to them, and is it hitting her deepest fears? Or is it hitting something that they desire out of you? Right?

So for this particular woman, I told her. I was like listen, you’re selling it to him the way that you were sold into it. You were sold into it because you want it to make more money. But for him, he doesn’t care about the money. He wants his wife back. Like he wants you to stop being on your phone at 9:00 p.m..

This is exactly also something that we talked about in Thirty More is work life balance is a really big portion of this. How can I make more money while I work less, while I get my personal life back, while I go to soccer with my kids, right? So just remember who your audience is when you are selling your spouse on being a part of a mastermind.

If after all of this, they are still saying no. First of all, if you’re a coach, and you’re listening to this, here’s a quick piece of advice. Well, and you don’t even have to be a coach, to be honest. You could be anybody, but I won’t allow a client to sign on with me if their spouse is not on board. To me, that is just breaking integrity. I don’t want any woman or man coming and working with me and then their spouse is pissed about it. I don’t want to be on the tongue of the other person spewing frustration. It’s laid on me or laid on my programs.

So that’s just a rule that I have. I always talk to people. If they tell me that there’s a discrepancy between them and their husband’s agreement on whether they should be in my world, I always check in with them again after they’ve applied. Did this get worked out? Are you sure? Where do we stand on this? Right? I take their word for that, but I don’t let people come in if their husbands are completely not on board.

So if after all of this, after you have asked for support, not permission, and you have shown them the podcast, and you have sold it to them in a way that meets their desires, and they’re still not on board, take another breath. Okay. That is okay. I’m going to say this, and I feel like this might ruffle a lot of feathers, but your husband doesn’t have to believe in you. I think your husband has to support you. I think your husband has to be kind to you. I think that he has to be your support system, but does he have to believe that you are going to double your revenue this year? No. Does that take away from his love for you? I don’t think so.

My husband didn’t believe that I was going to make millions of dollars at first. I remember him thinking that it was really cute of me to put post it notes on our bathroom mirror about how I was going to add an extra $1,000 to our income by next month. Then I would reach that. I would hit the goal, and he’d be like oh, that was crazy. Then I would put another post it on our mirror, and it would be like I’m going to increase our income by $2,000 next month.

These were my goals that I was posting. The first several post its, he did not believe that these were going to happen. I could have made that mean something. I could have made him the antagonist, I could have victimized myself, but I just didn’t care. I just thought if he thinks I’m cute while I’m writing this great, sounds good. I’m going to go make a shit ton of money. Right? I never made it mean anything that he didn’t “believe it.”

It’s funny because now when you talk to him, I heard him telling a story not too long ago. But he was saying like now whenever Becca puts a post it note on the bathroom, I get excited because that’s my future. If she says that we’re going to buy a building in France by next year, I’m learning French because we’re going to buy a building by next year in France, right.

So your husband doesn’t have to believe in your business. What you make that mean, though, will change your life. If you make that mean something terrible, it is going to feel really terrible. If you make it mean, oh my husband just thinks I’m cute because I’m dreaming. I’m going to show him, and I can’t fucking wait. I can’t fucking wait to show him how serious I am. But I still love him, and he’s my supporter. It’s okay that he’s not on board right now then that’s going to be the way that your life pans out. So just be careful the things that you’re thinking about your husband if he’s not on board with your investments.

Last but not least if he’s still not on board, I would say again, take a breath. The same theme. Take a breath, take a breath, take a breath. A lot of the women that came to me were so frustrated that their husbands weren’t on board that they weren’t thinking straight. They were just pissed. They were making it mean something about them.

So for anybody that’s listening to this, please stay consistent. If you do want something in your business, stay consistent. If you can’t get into the mastermind this round because your husband’s not on board, you’ve got six months to make it to the next round. Right? Stay consistent. You do have a voice in your marriage. You do have a voice when it comes to the money that you make in your business. You do have a voice in the debt or the credit that you’re allowed to take out in order to follow your dreams. All of those are true. You do have a voice.

As always be very aware of the difference between a disagreement and being taken advantage of or being told that you don’t have a voice, right? Like of course if we are looking at verbal abuse or manipulation or anything like that, that is not okay. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a supportive husband who is concerned for his wife and concerned for their family budget.

Okay, but stay consistent. You have a voice. You have a say so in your business. If you need to go and kill a few goals, if you need to go make some serious money, if you need to show him how serious you are, go do that. Go do that. Okay.

I know this was quick. A super quick lesson, but I had so many women, again, come to me and they just didn’t know how to get their husbands on board. So first things first, you have to ask for support, not permission, right? You got to get him to drink the Kool Aid. Maybe show him the podcast. Show him hey, this girl knows what she’s talking about when it comes to investments and wealth and our future and how we should be showing up in our business and how to get along in our business.

Then be sure you’re selling him on what he wants to hear. If you’re a workaholic, he does not want to hear that you’re going to join a mastermind to work more. He wants to hear that you’re going to join a mastermind that takes work life balance very seriously. Keep him in the good light, right. If he’s still continues to say no, continue to see him as your supportive husband, not the antagonist. Right? Just stay consistent and remember that you do have a voice. All right guys, that is it for me today. I will see you guys here next week. Love you guys. Chat soon. Bye.

Hey guys, this podcast is the blood sweat and tears of a lot of different people. The planning and the preparation of each episode is extensive. My team and I are really proud to bring you this free and abundant content each week, and we hope that you’re loving it. If you are, the very best thank you that we can receive from you is a review and a share.

When you share this episode with a friend or leave us a five star review, it is like pouring a little bit of magic into our podcasting bucket. It is what gets our work recognized. It’s what gives us energy and keeps us going, truly. Not one share nor review goes without recognition from our team. As always, we fucking love you here at Hell Yes Coaching. Have a beautiful day.

Hey, thanks for taking the time to listen to today’s episode. If you’re looking to get more clarity and momentum for your business, visit hellyescoachingonline.com. See you next week here on The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast.

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