Ep #36: Why You Don’t Learn Anything from Asking How | The Hell Yes Entrepreneur Podcast

The Hell Yes Entrepreneur Podcast with Becca Pike | Why You Don’t Learn Anything from Asking HowIt’s really easy to get stuck and obsessive about how we’re going to reach our goals, how it will work, and how other people do it. We think if we don’t know how to do something, then it must be impossible. But the truth is, you can’t know for sure how to do something until you start doing it. And me telling you my how will actually mean nothing to you.

I just came back from hosting my first-ever retreat, and I didn’t know the how of any of it. I didn’t know about booking out rooms, food and beverage minimums confused the shit out of me, and it didn’t end there. It felt like chaos. But you know what I did? I just tried, and it was amazing. So by the end of this episode, I’m making sure you never spend another moment obsessing over the how.

Tune in this week to discover where you’re wasting your time, energy, and creativity by focusing on the how. The series of events that led to my first million will never be replicable by you; the how is hollow. Instead, I’m giving you the right questions to ask so how doesn’t become a roadblock in your business.

I’m always trying to figure out how I can overdeliver for you guys. Well, I’ve got some news. Three More is no longer just an 8-week course. If you join Three More, you now get lifetime access to the entire video library that we use inside the program, lifetime access to weekly group coaching calls, and the Facebook community where we gather to exchange high-level ideas. And all this for exactly the same as the 8-week price. So if you’re ready to sell your service and book yourself out, you need to get inside.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why my how will actually mean nothing to you.
  • What how greed is and why we get stuck there.
  • Why your wealth doesn’t come from the specific actions you take, but the person you show up as when you take action.
  • The ways that how becomes your actual roadblock.
  • What you can do to remove the how and decide on your own next steps, instead of focusing on someone else’s.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Hello my people. Ugh I’m so glad to be back in front of a microphone. I have been out of town for a few weeks, and I am so pumped to talk to you guys today. This is today’s episode of The Hell Yes Entrepreneur. I am your host Becca Pike. Let’s get started.

Hey, guys. I’m Becca Pike and welcome to The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast, the number one show for entrepreneurs looking to create their first six-figure year. If you’ve got the drive and you know how to hustle but you’re not sure where to channel your energy, we’ve got the answers. Let’s dive into today’s show.

Hey guys. What is up? I just got back from Miami yesterday for my 30 More mastermind. It was glorious. My staff and I, we arrived on like Thursday night. Students arrived on Friday. We stayed at Eden Roc Nobu, which is some shit y’all. That was fancy. We spent Friday lounging at the pool. We kind of just soaked up the sun, drank cocktails, and then we had this bougie ass welcome reception in the penthouse of Nobu that night. It was looking over Miami. It was looking over the ocean. It was beautifully lit.

Then Saturday we woke up. We had this massive breakfast. All the bacon. John Richardson, I’ve never seen someone put so much bacon on their plate in my life. We spent all day Saturday holed up in a conference room. We strategized, we coached, and we planned for 10 straight hours. Y’all the people that walked into that room that morning, they were not the same people that left the room that evening.

It was not boring 10 hours. At the end of 10 hours I had people saying, “I don’t want to leave this room. I don’t want to go anywhere. I am in my element right now. I have not been pushed mentally this hard my whole life. I am ready to keep going.” We shed some shit that day y’all. We shed old beliefs, old roadblocks. We gained clarity. My students created actual plans, and they know exactly how they’re going to hit their goals in 2022 okay.

Then we ate the most beautiful dinner that night. It was this warm Miami weather. We were outside. We were listening to a live jazz musician. There was candlelight. We drank more wine. Y’all, I literally just cried at the life that I lead. At what I get to do, at the people that I get to be with. My team you guys, Sierra my assistant, John my Hell Yes head coach, my right hand man. I won the jackpot on the team.

You know what’s fucking crazy? I was for real a waitress six years ago. Now for work I wine, and I dine. I relax. I chat. I motivate, and I get to talk to people about my passion, business. The thing that I’m always reading about, always listening about. It is my hobby through and through and I just get to talk about it all day long all the time to people. It is outstanding. I am beyond thankful.

You know what’s insane? After such a powerful weekend, that was just the start of the mastermind. Like that was just the cookout welcome reception. When everyone flew back home from Miami, we hadn’t even officially started yet. Our six month mastermind starts this Thursday where we meet every single week. New lessons, new calls, new coaching. There’s just so much more content to go over and so much more to master and so much more, right?

My students were saying this week alone was worth the $12,000 tuition. I can’t even  believe that that as the kickoff party. Guys this is why everyone in 30 More is getting such massive results because it is just chock full of content. It’s chock full of there’s no way not to succeed in this.

So if you have not signed up for 30 More, we are not signing up right now actually. You have to wait until May. In May we are going to sign up for our July session, and we are going to go somewhere else amazing in July as a unit. We’re going to fly out. We’re going to do the same things. We’re going to strategize. We’re going to mastermind. We’re going to coach. We’re going to relax. We’re going to have cocktails. It’s going to be the whole nine yards.

Let me say this too before I get started. I’m going to be honest. This was my first ever real retreat that I’ve ever hosted. I’ve never flown 14 people somewhere and did this of any capacity, right? I’ve never event planned or booked out rooms at a hotel. I didn’t know how to do anything.

I don’t know what a food and beverage minimum means. Like when I got there and I was talking about the food and beverage minimum, I had to stop and be like what is this? What’s happening? I have never stood for 10 hours and spoken to a group of people. Never in my life.

I’ve never done any of this. I genuinely just like made it up as I went. Of course my assistant Sierra kicked ass. She did a ton of the leg work and a ton of the back end stuff. But it brings me to what I want to talk to you guys about today.

You know it’s really easy to get stuck and obsessive about how we’re going to reach our goals. How it will work, how do other people do it. We get into this “how greed.” We want people to tell us how, how, how, how. How do I do it? We think if we don’t know how to do something then it’s seemingly possible, right? The truth is, guys, no one can tell you how to do this stuff. We can’t know how to do something until we start doing it and we see that it’s possible, okay?

Events in life and in business are chaotic. Like the true meaning of chaos. There’s no rhyme or reason to what opportunities fall into our laps and at what times, okay? So I looked up the true definition, and this is what it says. It says the true definition of chaos is behavior so unpredictable it appears random, owing great sensitivity to small changes in conditions. The true Becca Pike definition is a lot the same. It reads life is whack, you never know what you’re going to get.

So if you come to me and you say, “Becca, tell me exactly how to make a million dollars.” It’s impossible for me to tell you that because the way I made a million dollars is different then how you will make it, okay? So my how means nothing to you. This is what beginner entrepreneurs don’t always comprehend. They’re like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. Got it. Coach talk.” For real, how?

I so badly want this episode of this podcast to be the exact moment that you decide that you will never waste another breath, another moment obsessing over the how. Because it really is wasteful. It’s sucking away your time and your energy and your creativity.

This is what I would have to say if you’re like, “Becca, how do I make a million dollars?” I’d be like okay so first you’re going to move away from your family at age 17 and be shot in the face with real world problems and begin sharpening your survival techniques, which will lead you to an exceptional work ethic. Then when you’re like 19 people are going to say some really mean shit to you that is going to get under your skin, and it’s going to make you so upset that it’s actually going to be the birth of you realizing that you’re never going to be a nobody.

Then you’re going to need to go to massage school and start a massage business. Then one day you’re going to be massaging a girl that you’ve become really good friends with, and she owns a granite company. She’ll become your first client when you offer her business coaching.

Then one day after that you’re going to end up selling a desk on Craigslist, and the girl that comes to pick it up is going to become your next coaching client. Oh and then when you’re on the beach in Virginia, you’re going to meet this girl in the sand who will become your virtual assistant and will help you grow the company. Right?

Like all of these things happened that created my first million, but they will not work for you. They are not replicable to you. These are the small, tiny infinite one degree turns and pivots that my life took that compounded into the person I am today. These and a zillion other small compounding effects that happened to me.

Let me tell you this. Your wealth does not come from the specific actions that you take, okay? It comes from the person you show up as when you’re taking these actions. I don’t want you to hear what I just said and write it off as some sort of woo-woo coach speak. I want you to hear what I’m saying to you, okay?

The actions that you take aren’t what make you a million dollars. It’s the person that you show up as when you’re taking those actions. So anyone can do marketing. Some people do marketing all day long, and they make zero dollars. The answer isn’t marketing. The people that show up differently, let’s say there’s somebody that shows up every single day marketing and they’ve made zero dollars.

Then there’s these other people who are willing to fail, they’re willing to experiment, they’re willing to change and pivot and start over. They’re willing to try different social media platforms. They’re willing to learn about those social media platforms. They learn how to show up confidently. They do their coaching work, their internal self-coaching work to really truly believe that what they have to offer to the world is extremely valuable. Then they show up again to market every single day. All right?

Those people who do marketing everyday make millions while other people do marketing every day and make zero dollars. Okay? Anyone can go to networking events. You can go to a networking event every day for a year and not land a single customer if you’re showing up lacking confidence and scared to speak, scared to connect, or not being authentic, right? People can sniff out your baggage like a fucking dog in heat.

Or you can go to one marketing event with unwavering confidence, charm, creativity, and land three clients that will become your lifelong loyal customers. This is what I call my BDE. I can turn on my big dick energy at the flip of a switch. This is a skillset. Women can have BDE, by the way. This is something I’ve practiced. I can literally want to die inside, be worried, concerned, embarrassed and look like fucking Beyonce on the outside. You dig? You get what I’m saying?

You see the difference? Your wealth does not come from the specific actions you take. The how is hollow. It comes from the person you show up as when you take those actions. You see as entrepreneurs, we are fantastic at asking questions. It’s literally our strength, right. We are curious people because we are good at asking questions, we are good at getting answers.

I want to talk to you guys about asking the right questions, and the right questions do not involve the how. because without the belief, the how doesn’t matter at all. Without the right mindset, the how will become your actual roadblock, right? Without the right mindset, the marketing doesn’t matter. The networking doesn’t matter, right. Being obsessed with the how it’s going to work will put blinders on you.

If you’ve only ever made $60,000 in your business and I tell you that you could change that $60K to $400K in the next year, your brain might actually short circuit. It might say, “No way, I don’t know how. If I knew how, I would have already done it.” You might start to calculate like okay how many clients would that take? You might start thinking about how it would be impossible, right? It’s only impossible because it hasn’t been solved for yet. It can’t be solved for properly if your mind is shut down to the truth that it could actually happen.

When my newest students arrived to Miami, we were in our conference room, and I asked them to consider what it would require for them to 3X their revenue. Okay? Some of them were deer in headlights. I could see the actual roadblock drop right in front of them. They were all chatty, making jokes. They were, you know, having fun.

Then they were presented with this image of having to 3X their revenue immediately, and it was like they got kicked in the stomach. The defense went up, right. I started hearing some of them like, “That’s not possible. I don’t know how that could even work. If I knew how that would work, then I would have already done it.”

But we know that it’s not impossible. People do it all the time. Evidence supports that people can 3X their businesses if they really want to. The truth is that they’ve never dreamed big enough because either A, they didn’t have a coach or a mentor or someone pushing their brain outside of it’s normal comfort zone in order to dream bigger. Or B, they were just stuck in the how.

So this dream that I was creating for them was jolting. When your brain goes to that place, all creativity shuts down. We did this exercise where we removed the how, and we just allowed their brain to dream. For the most of them, it was their first real time that they had actually removed the how enough to dream, right?

When you allow that deeply through a guided question asking and removing all of the how pressure, and you just allow your brain to say, “Okay, I trust that I will find my own way,” you will finally begin the creativity process. I noticed that some of their roadblocks got a little smaller, right. Some of their deer in headlight eyes turned into curiosity.

I asked them. I said, “What are you doing in your business that’s working right now, but it definitely won’t work at the next level of success. That 3X level of success.” Their curiosity started to become vocal, right. So they started saying things like, “Well, I guess I haven’t started ads yet. I’d probably have to have paid marketing ads at that level.” I was like okay, yes. Good. What else?

Someone said, “You know if I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t been putting a ton of time into my emailing list. At that level, I’d probably be emailing my customers a lot more and with better content. Right?” One person said, “At that level, I would definitely be training my employees on retention and how to keep customers coming back.” Another person said, “Oh I’d be investing in my business even more. Like coaching as well as physical tools and like infrastructure like software programs and stuff like that, right?”

We started slowing shedding light on all the things they weren’t doing in the moment, but their brains couldn’t get there without the guided practice on removing the how, right. We removed the pressure that says we need all the answers. Instead we playfully put on our science caps. We went back to what we remember from seventh grade, and we started throwing out like hypothesis.

Like my hypothesis says that if I trained my employees on retention, we could increase our sales by like 30%. To take that hypothesis and see if it works. See if it’s write or wrong without any judgement, right. Without making it mean that we’re a failure. Going into massive curiosity and massive trial and error without  saying if this doesn’t work, I am dumb. If this doesn’t work, I should stop.

Like a true scientist that is looking for a cure to cancer. He says, “This is it. This isn’t it. I think this is it, this isn’t it. I think this is it, this isn’t it.” He does this over and over and over. Or she, I’m not sexist obviously. Like if this scientist is looking for the cure to cancer, they’re going to trial and error their entire life, their entire life.

Could you imagine if they tried one thing and then they were just like, “That wasn’t it. I’m a fucking failure. Everything that I ever thought about myself is absolutely true. My father hates me. I never should have made the band team in sixth grade. This is the worst. I’m never going to find the cure.” It seems funny, but that’s what a lot of people are doing in business instead of saying, “Oh this didn’t work, onto the next thing.” Right?

You know so much in my life happened in a way I could have never anticipated or predicted or planned the how of. I didn’t know I was going to meet the coach that I have, the coach that honestly fell into my lap. I didn’t know I was going to start a podcast, but once I stumbled across Pavel and the best podcast production company in the U.S., my wheels started turning. I was like what if I had a podcast? What if someone really did allow me to just like put a mic in front of my face and just talk shit about life, right? Like what would happen? I didn’t know.

I didn’t know that I would ever host a retreat, you know? I didn’t know that I was ever going to have to learn what a food and beverage minimum was. I for damn sure didn’t know how to host that retreat, right? Like I had to start, and I had to try. I had to learn and experiment. I didn’t know how I would meet my loyal clients at random places that I did. I didn’t know the how.

I didn’t know how to group coach. I didn’t know how to create a million dollars, much less two. I didn’t know that I would create a program called Three More, and that it was going to blow itself out of the water in its first year. I didn’t know any of this y’all, but I started doing things that kind of just seemed like the next move. They seemed like fun. They seemed like joy. They seemed like whatever.

I talked to the people that felt right, that felt like I wanted to talk to them. I just had an experience on my flight coming back from Miami where I’d met like one of my favorite people ever. I hope that he is out there just living his best life. You have to speak up. You have to talk to people. You have to try things. You have to experiment. You have to get out of your own ego and your own brain that’s telling you like you might fail. This isn’t going to work. You’re going to look stupid. It goes like this for relationships, for love, for business, for health to get out of your own way.

Long story short, I always just asked myself what is the next baby step? Hint hint, the answer was always just tell more people about my business. That was always it. I’d try things and if it worked, great. If it didn’t, I scrapped it. So if two years ago I had asked myself to sit down and write out how I was going to meet my goals, I couldn’t have. I would have said some bullshit that I read in a book that was too vague to apply to my life.

These things all fell in my lap because I was just experimenting and trying and getting out of my way and taking action and speaking to people. Getting myself coached so that I could show up as the Beyonce I wanted to show up as. Telling people to stop asking how when they’re starting a business is so abstract to the person on the receiving end of that. It is mindboggling.

It goes against everything we’ve been taught, right? Like we have been taught that there is a series of steps for everything in the universe. If we follow this manual, we will know how to do X, Y, and Z. Building a business is practically faith based. If there was one, no one could follow the same one.

We all have different manuals. We all have different angles and audiences and qualities about ourselves and ways of communication that feel good to us. For one person, Instagram works. For another person, they don’t even have social media. Both people can create millions and millions and millions of dollars.

For one person they are going to meet the virtual assistant of their dreams. For another person, they’re going to do it all by themselves right. For one person they have to learn what work ethic is for the very first time in their life at the ripe age of 35. For another person, they’ve been grinding out since they were eight years old, right? Everybody’s different. There is not manual that is the same.

Understanding how hollow the how is becomes more clear the more successful you get. The more successful you get, the more you realize that there’s no way that you could have articulated that all of these things could have ever happened to you.

If I’m being super honest with you guys, I’m going to go ahead and say it. Demanding the how from someone is not only not going to work, it’s lazy and it’s a shortcut. It’s like saying I don’t want to spend time or money deciding what works for my customers and my clients. I want to look over my shoulder at the answers on your test, and I want to see what you wrote down. Then I’m just going to do a generic copy and paste to my customers and see if they notice a difference.

Y’all, success is in the work. It’s in the trial and error. It’s in the grind. Success is in the experimenting. Is it possible to gain success by peering over your shoulder at someone else’s answers? Yeah, maybe for like a split second maybe. But everyone’s going to see right through you whenever you can’t replicate it without your user manual next to you.

Experimenting without any judgement of the how and of yourself is the only way you can find your voice and your true authenticity. It might take longer than copy and paste, but it’s sustainable. It’s authentic to your customers and will create a hell of a lot of rapport with your people. Your beloved customers. Got it?

All right squad. That is it for me today. By the way, Three More is growing at rapid speeds. We are seeing astronomical success in there. So if you’re not a part of this community, get in there ASAP. Weekly business coaching, bomb ass community, live video vault, and you’ll gain three more clients in 30 days money back guarantee. What? Listen on for more details. All right bye guys.

Hey entrepreneurs. If you are ready to create your first six figure year, your next business investment is our course Three More. When you sign up, you will get instant access to our video vault. In these videos, I teach you exactly what I did to create a highly successful brick and mortar company as well as a booming online company. Both successful in their first year. It was not luck guys. It was a process. I am now offering that process to you.

In this class, you will become a master at organically attracting clients. Three at a time to be exact. #ThreeMore. You will know what to say during a consult or a conversation about your business so that people want what you’re selling when you speak to them.

You will know what to do when your client feels timid to invest in your service. They might want what you’re selling, but they feel on the fence about investing. This is normal. To become successful, you must know how to gently and confidently navigate these situations without being pushy but with their best interest at heart.

In Three More, you will learn new ways to think about money and sales and growing your audience, so they are lining up to buy from you. This is not gross and sleazy sales tactics. This is learning to inspire through quality service.

Best of all, you will have a community of other Three More members all reaching out for the same business growth where you can ask questions, make friends, and lean on each other. Our members say that the community is the best part.

If the community and the video vault doesn’t already make you feel like you won the business coaching lottery, we also have weekly live coaching calls. Every Tuesday at 1:30 Eastern Standard Time, you will receive live coaching in our community via Zoom so that you always stay in line with your goals. You can begin coming to these calls as soon as you sign up.

Guys between the video vault and the community and the live coaching, the program is fail proof. We are so confident that you will love three more that we have a risk-free guarantee. If it doesn’t work for you, we will send your money back no questions asked. There hasn’t been a single person that has wanted their money back. In fact, the reviews for this course are all five stars.

Do not wait. Go to www.threemoreclients.com right now, right this moment. Make the decision right now that our business will inevitably be successful. I can’t wait to see you in there.

Hey, thanks for taking the time to listen to today’s episode. If you’re looking to get more clarity and momentum for your business, visit hellyescoachingonline.com. See you next week here on The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast.

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