Hello. This is The Hell Yes Entrepreneur. I’m your host, Becca Pike. Today we’re going to discuss the true recipe for happiness, growth, and success in our marriages, our lives, our businesses, and our relationships. Today we’re going to discuss ownership, the number one ingredient in my own life and the number one reason I went from serving tables as a restaurant waitress to a million dollar multiple business owner. Let’s begin.

Hey, guys. I’m Becca Pike and welcome to The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast, the number one show for entrepreneurs looking to create their first six-figure year. If you’ve got the drive and you know how to hustle but you’re not sure where to channel your energy, we’ve got the answers. Let’s dive into today’s show.

What’s up my friends? How are we doing today? I am excited to talk to you about this subject because I truly believe it’s the number one shift in my life, and the reason that I have created this life that I so desperately envisioned in my past. You know in the past, I played victim in a lot of the things I did. You know, I’m not proud of it. When I look back at myself through the lens of my eyes now, it honestly feels cringey AF. I remind myself that I just hadn’t been taught yet. That no one, including myself, had really opened my eyes to what extreme ownership meant. I didn’t have the tools. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know, you dig?

Now that I do, I see things super clearly. When I looked around when I was a waitress living paycheck to paycheck constantly on the verge of getting evicted from my apartment, always running out of food to eat, and always bumming for gas money to get to work. There was always this huge cloud that overarched that part of my life. The only way that I can describe that cloud was like a cloud of victimhood.

I remember comparing myself to my friends and thinking, “Man, it must be nice. I wish my parents paid for my college like hers does. Or I wish my parents helped me out financially. I just saw her call up her dad and get money wired into her bank account. Must be nice. No wonder she’s so far ahead of me.” Right? Or I would tell myself things just weren’t fair, right?

You see, first of all there’s an expiration date when it comes to blaming our parents. If you’ve chosen to become an independent human from them, the moment you move you, you give up that right. Now the world is in your hands, not theirs. Right? Also it didn’t just stop at my parents. It was towards everyone. My bosses, my coworkers, my friends, the guy at the bar last night, the other people in traffic, the city bus driver, the Wi-Fi, the college professors. The list went on.

Now I will give this disclaimer. I didn’t ever say these thoughts out loud. At least 99% of the time I didn’t because I wanted to have friends and I wanted to be liked. I knew that that was a recipe for no one to want to hang out with me. So I mainly kept my mouth shut, but that was the dialogue that was constantly running through my head.

Around the age of 24 still broke as shit and exhausted, I was introduced to the self-development world. I remember reading You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. I read the second book to that You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. To this day, it is likely still my number one most recommended favorite book of all time. Huge shoutout to Jen Sincero on that book. It has drastically changed my life. I think I’ve read through it like four times now.

I started diving into her work as well as Tony Robbins and the work of Jocko Willink, the study of manifestation as well as just pure hard work and grit. Grant Cardone, Gary Vaynerchuk, Brené Brown, you name it. They all became my imaginary circle of friends.

When I first started learning about self-ownership on a deeper level, I was a little turned off by it. To think that my life was this hard because of me and the way that I was thinking and the actions that I was taking or not taking was a little frustrating to say the least. Pretty sure I went into victim mentality just being talked to about victim mentality. I remember thinking, “It’s not like I want this life. Like how can it be possible that I’m creating this life? I don’t want to be broke. I don’t want to be exhausted. Fuck these rich book writing people.”

Little by little it was undeniable. Once I became even slightly aware of it, it was like a snowball effect. I was done in. It was popping up everywhere and it was in my face. I couldn’t deny much longer that my spending habits were influencing my bank account, obviously, right? Or my lack of organization is what was causing me so much stress at home and in my car and at work.

Or that my priorities in men were just ass backwards. Not that they were doing me wrong, but the way that I was attracting them and who I was bringing into my life was not in a self-care-like way, right? Or that my lack of boundaries created issues in my friendships and my family, right?

Little by little I started realizing what is now so obvious. Everything I did in my life had a result that popped out the other end of that decision. Everything I said had its own result, good or bad. Every excuse I made had a result, good or bad. Every decision, every thought, everything I bought, what I chose not to buy, what I did, what I didn’t do, all of it. It felt like a whirlwind of realizations that my whole situation was all because of me. It was almost overwhelming when it finally clicked. But it was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.

From there, my friends, a beast was born. I became the number one owner of my life. It was by far the most freeing realization that I never thought was possible. You see when we realize that everything in our life is within our control, every reaction we have, the world opens up to us like you have never felt before. The victim mindset, it dilutes our human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we are drastically reducing our power to change those circumstances.

Most people who listen to this are entrepreneurs. So let’s start there. Ask yourself. Why aren’t you in the success of your company where you want it to be? Name off five things in your head. You can pause this podcast if you want but take those five things and ask yourself who’s fault they are.

So my clients will tell me things like this. So I coach business owners on how to grow their business. I will hear things like, “My staff is unreliable. They show up 10 minutes late every day.” Instead of saying, “I haven’t set proper boundaries and consequences for lack of punctuality with my workers.” Right? Or I might hear, “People just aren’t buying my services. I can’t get clients.” Instead of saying, “I have underinvested in marketing, underinvested in equipment, and underestimated the amount of time that’s required to gain a following.”

I hear, “I’m just not good at writing emails,” instead of, “I refuse to buy into an email writing course because I’m scared of spending money. It’s just easier to say I’m just naturally not good at writing emails.” You get what I’m saying here? You feeling it? I’ve heard, “I’m just not business brained,” instead of, “I refuse to hire a business coach because of my own mind drama around time and money and failure and success and growth.” I’ve heard, “My market is just saturated,” instead of, “I’m unwilling to spend the energy, money, and resources to make my brand stick out amongst the rest.”

They may also say that they can’t grow their businesses in other ways. Like I don’t have the time. I don’t have the money. I work a second job. I’m a single parent. I have an autoimmune issue that makes me tired. My marketing team is sucking. My coach is sucking. The program I bought isn’t working. My boss won’t give me time off. My parents would never let me. My parents would never approve. My spouse doesn’t give me support.

Side bar, have you ever noticed that victim mentality is always sprinkled with a little bit of unicorn syndrome? Believing that you or your industry is so unique in your problem in some way. Victim mentality is laced with all of the reasons and excuses that everyone around you can win except for you because they’re probably lucky, right? Those people that have everything that they could want, they’re probably just lucky. You’re not, right? Man. The human brain is just so funny and interesting.

Listen. Not taking ownership isn’t just hurting our goals. It goes a lot deeper than that. It hurts you, and it hurts your consumers if you’re a business owner. If a client has a poor experience with your business and you do anything except take extreme ownership for the problem, then you’re doing it wrong. When you create excuses to your consumers, they lose trust in you. When you create excuses for yourself, you lose trust in you. When you take ownership, you gain trust with your consumers even when mistakes are made. When you take ownership to yourself, you begin the process of trusting yourself and building the foundation to create growth.

This is why self-ownership creates such strong levels of happiness in people. When you take ownership, problems get solved. When you make excuses or point, problems get rushed over and stay unresolved. It’s as simple as that.

Just remember guys. Blaming others is your ego trying to protect itself. It’s actually a pretty natural thing to do to be honest. It actually requires overriding that protection mechanism in order to take ownership. It’s literally harder for your brain to take ownership of things than it is to blame other people for things. That’s okay because we can do hard things my friends. We can do hard things.

Just remember. Protected pride may feel protected, but under the surface has a volcano of problems. A vulnerable pride or an ego that’s willing to be seen for its flaws in order to course correct is a true leader. Dock your ego, dock your excuses. The Canadian singer/songwriter/music producer Nav. He said, “One day I realized that everything that I got out of life is exclusively a result of every single action. That is the day I became a man.”

So my friends as I sit here today recording this podcast, I just want you to know like my life isn’t perfect by any means. I’m definitely not here to say that since taking ownership of everything in my life that I have solved every single problem and I’m living inside of a rainbow. My calendar isn’t as organized as I would like it to be. I’m still working on some boundary issues. I deal with mindset issues around wealth and the amount of wealth I’m creating. I face body image issues.

Of all these problems, I am comforted immensely by the deep understanding and knowing that my world is as big as I make it. I can turn problems on and off like a faucet based on the actions I’m willing to take to overcome these obstacles. It is always my choice, just like it’s yours to seek our deepest resourcefulness to create the life that we want.

We can’t always control if our house gets flooded by a storm. We can’t control if someone T-bones us in a car. We can drastically control the way that we react to it, the way that we handle the situation, the way that we ask or don’t ask for help. We are in control of everything in our life.

If you want any help with this, any of it. Whether it’s creating a plan and a blueprint to start your business, grow your business, or just begin the process of a deeper understanding of taking extreme self-ownership, contact us here at Hell Yes Coaching. We’ll hop on the phone with you for a mini session to see if you’re a good fit to have a coach in your life or if there’s any way that we can help you.

This is a completely free no strings attached call. I will tell you this. Having a one on one coach is the absolute fastest way to grow your business, grow your mind, and grow your life. It’s like cheating y’all only it’s not. So sign up for a free mini session at hellyescoachingonline.com. I will see you here next week my friends. Have a great day. Bye.

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Hey, thanks for taking the time to listen to today’s episode. If you’re looking to get more clarity and momentum for your business, visit hellyescoachingonline.com. See you next week here on The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast.