Ep #29: Talking Over Coffee with Mark Pike | The Hell Yes Entrepreneur Podcast

The Hell Yes Entrepreneur Podcast with Becca Pike | Talking Over Coffee with Mark PikeMy husband Mark and I sit and we have bomb-ass conversations, full of value and deep thinking. So, I thought to myself, why not put a mic in between us, no script or topic in mind, no specific reason to even start a conversation, just talking. So, that’s what we’re doing in this episode.

It was 9 AM when we recorded this, and we’d actually just tried to record a regular podcast episode, talking about something we thought other people wanted to hear. But we didn’t like the way it was headed. So, we burned that take, grabbed some coffee, and now we’re sat here talking, just like normal people.

Tune in this week for one of my favorite things: a conversation with my husband and business partner, Mark Pike. We’re discussing authenticity, ego, nature, gratitude, business, taking action, and all of the stuff we do that makes us feel good. And we’re also talking about all the shit we don’t do, like stressing out over kids’ birthdays, watching the news, and why all of this works for us.

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Whether you are creating a plan to start your business, grow your business, or you just need some help taking extreme ownership of your results, I’m inviting you for a mini-session to see if we can help over here at Hell Yes Coaching. This is a completely free of charge, no-strings-attached call. If you want to grow your business fast, having a coach is the way to make it happen. So what are you waiting for? Sign up right here.

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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why something in us as humans makes it so difficult to be authentic with a microphone or a camera in our face.
  • The secret to developing the self-love that is required for real authenticity.
  • Why it’s so important for our physical and mental health to spend time in nature and sunlight.
  • Some of the modern cultural beliefs and habits that we just don’t subscribe to.
  • The importance of asking yourself why you’re doing whatever you’re doing.
  • Why gratitude is the real gamechanger.
  • How to love where you are for more than just your achievements or your bank balance.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Hell Yes Entrepreneur Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!
  • Unleash the Power Within

Full Episode Transcript:

Download Transcript 1

Hey guys, what’s up? Welcome to episode 29 of The Hell Yes Entrepreneur. My name is Becca Pike, and today I have a fun episode for you guys. So, I was thinking my husband and I sit, and we have bomb-ass conversations. Very valuable, high thinking, kick-ass conversations, and I thought why not put a mic in between us when we are off-script when we have no specific reason to be on here just talking over coffee. So, you are going to hear us; it is nine o’clock in the morning when we do this podcast. We’re sipping our coffee, and we’re just talking about shit, and it is valuable. So, enjoy this podcast, and I’ll see you on the other side.

Hey, guys. I’m Becca Pike, and welcome to The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast, the number one show for entrepreneurs looking to create their first six-figure year. If you’ve got the drive and you know how to hustle but you’re not sure where to channel your energy, we’ve got the answers. Let’s dive into today’s show.

Becca:       Hey, mother fucker.

Mark:          Hey, baby.

Becca:       This is me not having a podcast persona.

Mark:         Hey babe, how are you this morning?

Becca:       I’m good.

Mark:         So—

Becca:       Because we just stopped our podcast; we were like 20 minutes in, we just stopped it and deleted it. We are starting it all over again. Because we want to be more, like, ourselves, sometimes it is so hard y’all. We put a mic in front of us, and it’s like we start talking about what we think our audience wants to hear, and it never feels good.

Mark:         Yeah.

Becca:       Instead of just turning the mic on and just talking like we are normal people.

Mark:          Yeah.

Becca:       So, here we are. We’re fucking normal today.

Mark:         Yeah, I think we should try to do that all the time. But it is easier said than done.

Becca:       Dude, it is hard. I think of myself as being really authentic. I really do and, yet when you have a camera in your face, or you have a mic on you, and you know that hundreds, thousands of people are listening, it’s really hard to not think, what do they want to hear?

Mark:         Right.

Becca:       It’s just in us; we are human. We’re like the tribal piece of us wants something.

Mark:         Yeah. I agree. I definitely have some thoughts on that. I do want to say I have a bit of a cold. So, apologies in advance if you hear any of that kind of stuff coming out of my body.

Becca:       It’s COVID.

Mark:         It’s always COVID. Yeah. I’ve now had COVID five times since COVID began.

Becca:       We think we do. Every time something like our toe itches, we’re like, this is it.

Mark:         Yep.

Becca:       This is the RONA we are going down.

Mark:         Oh, shit, I got an eyelash in my eye, it’s COVID.

Becca:       Yep.

Mark:         Oh, your lips are chapped again…

Mark and Becca:         It’s COVID.

Mark:         Well, I just wanted to talk more about that, being authentic, right? And like—

Becca:       Oh, yeah.

Mark:         And how this comes across. And how it is hard sometimes because we, we subconsciously turn on in a way that we think we should for other people. Right? And we don’t really think about it much in the moment. Then, later afterward, we are like, why did I say that?

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         Why did I act that way? Like, that wasn’t even me. And we don’t realize why, and I’ve done a lot of work on this, and it really comes down to the ego, and another word for the ego is fear, right? Basically, the ego is this part of our brains that says I need to be smart. I need to look a certain way. I need to be XY and Z, or I won’t be loved. And we all want to be loved, right? And so, it really hits our deepest darkest fears. And this is why it’s so important to start to develop some sort of love for ourselves. That is outside of other people. Right?

So, whether it is just a self-love, I love myself, and how do you love yourself? The secret to loving yourself is to treat yourself the way you would treat someone else you love. So, if you are a words of affirmation person, you need to start affirming yourself.

Becca:       Except for you shitty people that treat the ones you love the worst.

Mark:         That’s true, yeah. Well, what happens is that they treat the ones they love the worst because they start getting so comfortable that they start treating that person the way they treat themselves.

Becca:       Oh, really?

Mark:         Yeah.

Becca:       Boom.

Mark: Boom!

Becca: Podcast over! No, but for real, the ego. Something that helps me understand the ego is that the ego is needed. The ego is placed in our bodies as a way for us to survive. Without the ego we would, we wouldn’t be able to keep ourselves safe. We wouldn’t be thinking of ourselves in the way of like, and I need to be sure that I’m staying away from danger. That I’m researching which berries to eat, like, we have to have an ego to survive in the wild.

But the problem is, and especially now, I feel like in our culture now where everything is way more ego-driven than it’s ever been. Like, everything is about ourselves, our appearance, our image, and making sure that we are part of the tribe and belonging. There has been like a tipping point, right? It’s been like a, it’s just much more in our face, now.

Mark:         Oh, 100%. Yeah, you’re right. With our culture, it makes it even more self-focused, which builds the ego up even more. It’s like, oh shit, Nancy is going to soccer practice building a six-figure business, and I’m over here eating potato chips and watching Netflix. I’m not worthy. And for some people, a really great place is to find a higher power. Right?

It doesn’t have to be a religious higher power. But something like maybe it’s a connection to nature. You can find love through that.

Becca:       Oh my God, have you ever walked through nature and you’re just like connected to something within you. I feel like every human has had this experience. I mean, unless they’ve never been in nature, like, in a good setting. Something about like, walking in the woods and we do this all the time, you and I both, I think we hike every day. Do you think you hike every day?

Mark:         I don’t hike every day. But I hike a lot, especially in the spring, fall, and really the summer, for that matter. When it’s warmer, but I even do it in the winter, too. Absolutely.

Becca:       Yeah, when I’m hiking, and I have my headphones in. I listen to music, and I’m like looking at the trees, grass, and all the beautiful shit. And I’m like, oh my God, look at that creek. Something comes over me that is like, I mean, it’s spiritual. Right? It’s a connection.

Mark:         Yeah, that’s right. It is.

Becca:       And I think that’s probably why the Japanese believe in forest bathing so much.

Mark:         That’s right. And the fact that they have that, I think, says a lot. Right? It’s not that you have to be there all of the time. But, going there and reconnecting, and there’s been studies done at this point now to prove that there are chemical shifts and hormonal shifts within the body that happen whenever someone spends time in nature. A really cool one that was done had to do with people recovering from illness in hospitals. And just by giving someone a window with a tree outside of it, they were able to recover 20% faster than someone who didn’t have a window with a tree. So, just having that access to some kind of nature is really important. So, if you can’t get it, just in your day-to-day lives, like most people can’t get it in their office and things like that, try to just take some time to get outside. Try to take some time to stop at a park. You know these little shifts make a big difference.

Becca:       It’s interesting how much, even just since we met, how much nature and sunlight have become a huge part of our lives. I think we have always been a little outdoorsy like you worked on a farm. You were outside a lot before I met you. I also grew up in the country, and I was outside a lot. Even as a teenager, I remember going on what I now consider hikes. You know they used to just be walks through the woods, is what I called them. But I would do that a lot as a teenager. But lately, it’s like I actually think about how much sunlight I am getting on a day-to-day basis. Like, it is a really big part of my health and my staple. Especially after learning, once you learn so much, it’s hard to get away from it, right? Like, what sunlight does to us and vitamin D. And did you know that you get more vitamin D through your eyeballs than through your skin?

Mark:         I have read that before. That is pretty cool.

Becca:       So, take your sunglasses off.

Mark:         Yeah, and your eyeballs are a big filter for your blood. Because think of a UV filter, right? So, UV filters are used to cleanse water, like if you have a well, that’s a good chance you have a UV filter on it. And the way it works, the lights hit the water killing bad bacteria as it passes through it. Our eyeballs—

Becca:       Shut the fuck up. Is this real?

Mark:         Yeah, this is real. Our eyeballs are very similar in that all the blood in your body at some point passes through your eyes. And as it goes through your eyes, it’s being strongly hit by sunlight as opposed to how it goes through your skin. And it is being filtered, there is bacteria that is being filtered as it’s doing it.

Becca:       I’m going to have to throw away my cute sunglasses.

Mark:         Well, you know there’s a lot to be said about not wearing sunglasses unless you are in the sun a lot. Otherwise, if you are just in the sun for a couple of hours a day, try to avoid the sunglasses.

Becca:       Well, and they say that even like 15 minutes of sunlight in your eyes is like, I’m going to butcher the stat, but it boosts your immune system by like 70%. Even just 15 minutes.

Mark:         Right.

Becca:       So, like, all the time that I’m sitting at my desk, I will literally go outside just to get sunlight in my eyes.

Mark:         Yeah, as we learn more about maybe the sun or nature or we start to do it more, I think that that is an important point as we learn new information we need to go and try it and then see how it makes us feel. Right? And if it makes us feel good, do more of that. Right? And so, for me, I really try to pick things that I can feel the difference. Like, if you go to the sauna, you’re going to feel it right afterward.

Becca:       Yeah, what do you feel like after you go to the sauna?

Mark:         You feel like you just worked out.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         And so, you get that kind of that boost of energy, right? That comes from exercise.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         Especially if you do it several times. You get it even more, just like with exercise. Sometimes if you haven’t exercised in a couple of years and you go to exercise, you might not feel good.

Becca:       No.

Mark:         At least for most people, cause’ they push it too hard. But, if you do it a little bit, you will feel good. You know? If you go outside and go on a walk right now, you’re going to feel better than when you started. There’s no question, right? And so, noticing that and being like, oh shit, I should do more of that. Right? And I think that is something that we tend to miss out on a lot, paying attention to how we feel after we do certain things.

Becca:       Yeah, right. Because we’re so focused on how it feels during it. Like, oh, the sauna is so fucking hot. It’s so hot. Get me out of here. Like no one loves being in the sauna when it’s happening. I mean, unless they are like well-practiced at it. Or people that are working out for the first time in months, they’re like this sucks, this sucks. And like, it does, while you are doing it. But I think that we forget how we feel after.

Mark:         Absolutely, and a lot of times, we don’t connect the things that we do with the way that we feel. We just think, huh, I feel great today.

Becca:       I don’t know why.

Mark:         It’s just a great day. Oh boy, and then the next day we wake, and we’re like, I feel like shit, I have no idea why. What a shitty day, and we don’t connect it to the fact that we ate like a gallon of ice cream before we went to bed.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         You know, or that we didn’t do all the other things that we been doing to feel great. I think that is a really strong thing that people struggle with, myself included, which is that I have learned so much. I have put in the practice. Life is awesome, so I start to skip some of the things that I did to get there.

Becca:       Yes. This happens to me all of the time.

Mark:         Absolutely, and then next thing I know, I’m having trouble juggling all the balls that I was able to juggle easily before.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         And, now the level that I’m at is really hard to maintain. And I’m like, I don’t know why. I don’t know what happened. I was doing great, and the truth is because I stopped doing the things that I did to get there. And I started doing a bunch of the shitty stuff.

Becca:       Yeah, okay, so I’ve got a question for you. So, I think you and I would both agree that people look at us as if we have figured something out. They think that we are very healthy. They think that we are very happy. Like, we get this told to us all the time. People are like, and you guys just seem so happy. Right? And, I think one of the reasons is because,

Mark:         Social media is fake. Oh, sorry, go ahead.

Becca:       What?

Mark:         That was a joke.

Becca:       I think one of the reasons is because we do things that are very opposite of what the culture in this day and era tells us we should do? Do you agree with that?

Mark:         Oh, absolutely.

Becca:       What do you think are some of the things, like, can you pinpoint some things that you just don’t believe in. Like, you just don’t follow that shit.

Mark:         What are some things I just don’t follow that shit? I think one of the ones we do well at is not paying attention to the news.

Becca:       Oh, yeah. We never fucking watch the news.

Mark:         Right, so, and that’s a cultural belief. Right? In our culture, you need to watch the news because you have to stay up to date on the events. And if you don’t, you’re going to miss out on something important.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         And let me tell you something, me and Becca haven’t really watched the news in like, seven years, and we didn’t miss out on shit.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         You’re going to know whenever all the important stuff still happens, and the only thing, you don’t miss out. You just gain an additional sense of peace. The reality is that listening to people talk about horrible shit repeatedly makes you feel bad.

Becca:       Yes.

Mark:         And it’s not, it’s like what? It really does make a lot of sense.

Becca:       And here’s the thing, guys, if something massive happens in the world, we find out about it. I mean, it comes to our ears. But do you know how much we get to filter out by not just letting it stay on in the background? Like, sitting, imagine immersing yourself in just negative shit all day long. No one would allow that to happen. Except they are allowing it to happen with the news because they think they’re supposed to watch it. And by the way, I think we have been news-free for nine years because remember when I sold my TV for the tattoo of the tree on my leg. Back when we were really poor. That was about nine years ago, this month.

Mark:         Nice.

Becca:       I remember that because our anniversary is tomorrow. Did you know that? That is another thing, guys. So, let’s go back to culture. I don’t think we have put a ton of emphasis on stuff that doesn’t matter. Our anniversary is coming up tomorrow. We’re not, birthdays, birthdays are a good example too. We don’t go all-in on what society thinks we should be doing. I was talking to one of my girlfriends recently, and her daughter was turning six years old, and she was throwing a birthday party for her. This mom was so stressed out. And she said to me, she was like, I’m supposed to have all these presents, I’m supposed to have all this food, I’m supposed to rent out this facility, I’m supposed to, and she kept doing this, like, I am supposed to, supposed to, supposed to, thing. And she was like, and then at the end of it, my daughter’s not even happy. She thinks she didn’t get enough presents. And I’m like, fuck, that is so much stress on her, as a mom. That I truly believe isn’t needed. Our anniversary is tomorrow; I don’t think we have talked about it. We’re going to kiss; we’re going to makeout. We’re probably going to have the best sex ever.

Mark:         Now we are talking.

Becca:       We’re going to high-five, and we’re going to get on with our day. Because we aren’t like hallmarked by this idea that everything has to stop and like, we’re supposed to do something. And when our kids have a birthday, we have four kids. And here’s the truth, guys. Like, we have the ability to throw them massive parties. We have the ability to lean into what culture wants. But we haven’t done it. We have four kids, our oldest one is 12, our youngest one is 3, and every single birthday has been cake, a present, and decorating the house. And our kids fucking love it, every time.

Mark:         Oh, they do, yeah. I think that is an important distinction, too is that they aren’t thinking they’re missing out. They think, oh, wow, that’s going to be a good time. You know, our oldest daughter, she spends half her time at another house as well, so they celebrate birthdays differently. She talks; they do more of the bigger birthday style. And she talks about how she just loves our little intimate family birthdays that we have together.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         And so, asking ourselves why we are doing something and making sure what we are doing actually aligns with that purpose.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         Because, usually when we are doing a celebration, we are doing it because we want to feel good. And if we are celebrating someone else, we want to help them feel good.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         And if the way that we’re doing that doesn’t actually make either of us feel good, like the birthday you pointed out. The kid wasn’t happy, and the parent wasn’t happy either. Right? And I, this is why Christmas time is one of the most suicidal times of the year. It is because people feel stressed by it. They feel overloaded by it. When that starts to happen, that’s when we really need to step back and say, why am I doing this? What do I really want to get out of it? And then do that.

Becca:       Bourbon and eggnog.

Mark:         Yeah, now you’re talking.

Becca:       That’s what I want to get out of it.

Mark:         Yes, thank you.

Becca:       My standard, maybe our standards are just really low. Honestly, I’m going to have to think about that.

Mark:         Our standards of feeling good are high. That’s the difference.

Becca:       Yes, okay, that’s what I wanted to talk about. Like, but, our standards on what it takes to feel good to get that high are much lower than a lot of people.

Mark:         That’s fair.

Becca:       I think there’s, I have a lot of people in my life that say, in order to feel good I just need X, Y, and Z this vacation, this thing, this thing, this, like, don’t get me wrong, I fucking love a good vacation. But, on the day-to-day basis, like overall feeling good, I think that our’s is lower. Like you and I have practiced gratitude for years now. And I can stop at any moment and become grateful for things around me like that. I think that that is such a big part of it. That’s a big thing of what we teach our kids. Like, listen, this is what you get, and you’re going to find gratitude in it. And we stop our days, and we have our kids talk about what they are grateful for on a regular basis.

Mark:         Yeah, absolutely.

Becca:       I’ll be in the middle of handing them lunch, and I’m like, hey before you get your lunch, like, tell me five things you are grateful for. And like they’re so conditioned to it now, my three-year-old will be like, I’m grateful for my new toy, my bed is really warm, that my mom gives me snacks, and that my Kleenex doesn’t hurt my nose anymore.

Mark:         Yeah.

Becca:       It’s like, hell yeah. That’s the kind of human I want to raise.

Mark:         And I think that’s amazing. It’s just, you know, spending a little bit more time on what’s actually important. It breaks my heart whenever I’m talking to another parent, and they’re like Susie has straight A’s again. Oh, she’s going to become a doctor. She’s just achieving at the highest level, academically. Oh, okay, that’s great. How’s you know, the rest of her life go, oh, she’s on antidepressants and is suicidal.

Becca:       Yeah, it’s like something is missing here.

Mark:         Okay, I think we need to spend a little bit more time on the emotional side of life. And not just thinking that as long as we’re checking off the boxes of society like, which is, straight A’s, I got the medal, I’m now in college like all of these things are good. I encourage everyone to continue to push themselves to another level, but you have to do it alongside emotional fulfillment. Otherwise, you’ll grow up, and you could be the president of the united states and then still act like a little child, constantly unsatisfied. And this is why billionaires still can kill themselves. And it happens.

Becca:       Yes, and I truly believe, and I think statistics have shown that the antidote to this is gratitude, period. Through and through. But a lot of times, people hear that, and they don’t know what it means. Like, yeah, I feel grateful. Yeah, I feel, yeah, got it. I’m good. I’m grateful, now what? But, I was talking to one of my girlfriends, Kate, and she was saying that up until recently, she didn’t know what to do with that. She didn’t know what that meant.

So, I just want to give you a really quick rundown of what that looks like for me. So, every single day I will stop, and I will figure out some sort of gratitude practice, even if it takes me 30 seconds. Sometimes it takes me 30 seconds when I’m really not feeling it. When I feel I have to flex that muscle. Sometimes I can get into it for like minutes on end, and it just feels really good and is just flowing to me, okay? But this is what it looks like for me. Let’s say that I am driving my car, and I might be feeling great, or I might be doing it because I don’t feel good. And I’m saying, hey, this is what I need to do in order to get myself back into alignment with how I want to feel, right?

But, it will look like this, I will be driving my car, and I’ll just start thinking to myself of everything I am grateful for. And I think studies show that if you say it out loud, it’s even more powerful. But, for me, I always keep it in my head. Either way you want to do it is totally fine. But what I do focus on is actually feeling the emotion of it, okay? So, it’s one thing to say, I’m so thankful that I have food versus saying I’m so thankful that I have food and actually feeling it in your body and like feeling yourself, feeling your heart warm, feeling your stomach full. Like feeling the gratitude kind of wash over you, right? And, I’ll be in my car, and I’ll just be like, man, I’m so thankful that there is a road right here that I am driving on. Like, someone before me just figured this out someone before me and paved, and they worked their ass off, and they went home to their family every day, and they spent their whole life paving this road, right? And I’m just driving on it, for free. Like, I am just entitled to shit, drive on this fucking road like a king or a queen, right?

And I’m sitting in this car that can take me anywhere. A hundred, two hundred years if you wanted to go somewhere, you couldn’t just be in a car. I just sit in this little box with wheels, and it just takes me anywhere that I want to go. Oh, and I can turn the radio on at any minute and just change my emotional state. I can just become happy if I just find the right station. I am so thankful for that. And here’s this little cellphone that I have in my purse that I just get to like pick up at any time and call any of my loved ones that are still alive. Like, I get to have that, and I’m driving to a doctor’s appointment right now like I get to go to a clean doctor that is capable of giving me any medicine that I could possibly need that could keep me from dying. Right?

I will just go through and be like, I am so thankful for the grass and the fact that it rains, which brings water down to nourish the vegetables that just pop out of the soil. There’s just an abundance of food, and I just can’t believe it. Look at these jeans that I am wearing. These are quality clothing that just keep my legs warm, and it just goes on and on. And if, there’s no way that you can do that without feeling amazing afterward.

Mark:         Yeah.

Becca:       Do you agree, I mean, I know that you do gratitude all the time.

Mark:         Right, I’ve been doing it for a long time now. Yeah, I agree it is the game-changer of life, in terms of easily applicable things that you can do. And it’s important to remember that it’s a gratitude practice. What happens is, you know, we have this reticular activating system in our brain. It’s the same part of our brain that notices everybody driving the same car that we are driving. Right? Or that car that you want all of a sudden everybody is driving it. That is what the reticular activating system does. And you are training, right now, everyone is trained to find the shit. We all can find the shitty parts of life really easy.

Becca:       And the more you find it, the more those neuropathways are formed right.

Mark:         Right, exactly. And, so, what you are doing through gratitude practice is you’re training yourself to notice the good stuff of life. Right? And, so, you just get better and better at it. And now it is really easy for me because I’ve been doing it for so long and in any situation find the good in it. And that is something that I also have a belief in. That in every situation, there is good in it. And I mean every single one, you just have to be able to find it.

Becca:       That’s something that we go back to the counter culture like, I think that we have carved that path so much, that when something shitty does happen, I think you and I both go to the, what can I learn from this?

Mark:         Yeah. That’s right.

Becca:       Now, that’s not to say that we aren’t like, fuck! Just pissed—

Mark:         Yeah, we have horrible days. Yeah, we have bad days. Bad times happen.

Becca:       But, I think it is easier for us than most people to look at the good because we have trained it. And this is the way that I look at it, guys. If you’re walking through a forest and you take the same path repeatedly, then the branches have broken off, the grass has laid down in a way that allows it to become easier for you to walk that path, okay? So, if you’re walking the path of feeling like shit every day and only looking for the bad things in life, that path is going to be smoothed out for you. It’s going to be pretty easy to walk that path.

So, when you start doing gratitude practice, it’s going to be hard. You’re going to take a different path, and it’s going to be overgrown, and the branches are like, in your face, and you’re like stepping on snakes, and it’s just awful. But, like, the more you walk it, the more that those branches start breaking apart and that grass starts laying down. And suddenly, it becomes easier and easier until you have formed a path that you can just run through, without even a thought. Right? I think that is how everything works, to be honest.

But I notice it a lot in gratitude. Because you know, I am around normal people. I’m around people all the time, and I see how their brain immediately goes to the worst, immediately to the worst. It brings up a lot of thoughts for me. Like why does mine veer off just a little bit towards what could be good out of this? And it is just practice.

Mark:         Yeah, that was a really great metaphor.

Becca:       Thank you.

Mark:         It’s hard sitting here across from you and not just wanting to make out with you.

Becca:       Oh, really?

Mark:         Yeah, you’re so beautiful.

Becca:       Aw, thanks hunny. I’m wearing makeup today.

Mark:         And pants, wow!

Becca:       This for real might be the first time you’ve seen me in like 11 days without greasy hair, a sloppy bun, so, it’s like the standards are so low.

Mark:         No, I wanted to make out with you then, too. I thought you were beautiful then, too.

Becca:       Aw, thanks, babe.

Mark:         Oh, God. That’s some dirty making out. But, I like it, I’m down. But no, that was a really good metaphor. And one thing I would like to just point out for the listeners out there is that—

Becca:       Ooh, late night with Mark Pike.

Mark:         You know, a lot of times people in business that are high achievers, they’re just like, fuck all that gratitude shit. You know, I’m trying to hit milestones. I’m trying to make some money. Let me tell you something, whenever a problem in your business shows up, if you’re able to meet it with a level of gratitude that you’re about to learn something from it, it will take your business to the next level.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         So, a good example is with Massage Strong. So, right now, we are having some issues with staffing, and so instead of being like, oh shit, blah blah blah. I immediately go back to gratitude and think, okay, I’m really thankful for this. Because now, I am making new distinctions around hiring staff and retaining staff, and we will actually come out much stronger from this. Because of the lessons that were learned, and now I’m going to take it to another level, right?

So, by having, that’s how you take gratitude and learning from your mistakes to push yourself to another level. And so, instead of being weaker, it’s going to be like a broken bone, and this bone is going to be stronger because of the catastrophic event or the pain that came from it.

Becca:       Yes, absolutely, and let me tell you something right now, if you’re super driven about money, and you don’t have the gratitude for how far you have come, there is no amount of money that is going to make you feel good. Everyone thinks, no, when I make $100,000, that’s when I will feel safe. That’s when I’ll feel secure. When this amount of money is in the bank account, that’s when I will feel secure. Listen, security is available to you right now. Like, security is a feeling. It is not a number, and guys, I want you to hear me say this because this is when you get into that, like, achievement suicidal downfall. Like, to me, the worst-case scenario is linking achievements to having made it.

And I know this, I know this deep in my soul, okay? This is why you have people that are the highest achievers possible, that commit suicide. This is why you have people that are capable of winning prize after prize after prize and then hanging themselves in their fucking garage, right? So, if you think you are going to feel better when XYZ is in the account, it’s not the case. And the thing with numbers is that they can always go up.

So, if you think you are going to feel better when there’s $10,000 in your bank, then when you get to $10,000, you’re going to say, and I promise you, you’re going to say, no I’ll feel better when there’s $20,000 because your thermostat will always cool off. You will always get to that number, and you will get used to it, and it will cool off. Until you find yourself in a situation that I found myself in when it was like, oh, I’m making $500,000 a year, but it won’t be good enough until it’s a million. And that is unacceptable. You have to be able to figure out how to love where you are. Not from your achievements. But, maybe from what you learned. Maybe from how you have grown. Right? And finding the gratitude in where you were because the place you don’t want to be is a billionaire that doesn’t feel like they have enough, which is way more common than people think.

Mark:         Yes, absolutely. We just went to an immersion event. What’s an immersion event? An immersion event is basically where you like go somewhere for a period of time, and basically, all you do is the stuff that the event is centered around. So, a good example is, we go to a yoga retreat once. That would be an immersion event. We did yoga three times a day for like 90 minutes, plus every session.

Becca:       Seven days a week.

Mark:         For seven days, for seven days. And me and you didn’t even do yoga.

Becca:       No, we went there with the top yogis in the world. This was in Costa Rica. We went there with some of the top yogis—

Mark:         It was yoga teachers and us.

Becca:       Yeah, and the only reason we went was because one of my friends was putting it on. And she was like, hey do you want to go to this, it’s like a great vacation, and you’ll get to learn yoga. We went in there; just, we were the worst yoga. I mean, I couldn’t even like touch my toes.

Mark:         No, but by the end, we kicked ass.

Becca:       Yeah, and it was awesome. It was like Ayurveda and gratitude and yoga.

Mark:         It was amazing. So, that’s really a great example of an immersion event. Right? Like, you go in, and you don’t even know how to fucking do yoga. By the end, you’re kicking ass.

Becca:       Yeah. What was the example you gave of immersion? It was like the difference between, oh, the difference between—

Mark:         Oh, learning a language is a good one.

Becca:       Learning a language, yeah. So, like, you could take an hour-long class on how to speak Spanish, but—

Mark:         Like you, in high school, you take an hour each week, and by the end of that semester, you don’t know how to fucking speak Spanish, right?

Becca:       Right, but if you go to Spain and you live there for a month, that’s immersion; you’re going to learn so much more because you are immersed in it.

Mark:         Right. Exactly.

Becca:       So, we went to an immersion event.

Mark:         We did a Tony Robbins, unleash the power within event, and it was a good time. You know, it’s one of those deals where you just go from sun up to sundown. You know, it kind of starts at like 9 a.m. and goes till, some nights it goes to 1 or 2 a.m. in the morning.

Becca:       We walked on fire.

Mark:         Yeah, you walk on fire—

Becca:       Sixteen feet of burning hot coals. I know this sounds crazy. For anybody that is listening to this, they are like; if they don’t get it, they don’t get it. They’re going to be like, and this is fucking crazy.

Mark:         It is crazy.

Becca:       It is crazy. But, he gets you in such a state of like ready for change and growth and fucking lioness energy that you are willing to do whatever, and we walked across 16 feet of hot coals.

Mark:         Yeah, that’s pretty cool. Oprah did it.

Becca:       Yeah, yeah, it was a super fun event. But, I mean, out of everything we learned, let us talk about the most important thing. On the plane ride there y’all my ears—

Mark:         Oh.

Becca:       Has anybody ever had ear problems on plane rides? So, I have some sort of ear situation where my ear canals are like really small. So, if I have any sort of congestion, then, on airplane rides, they won’t pop. Like, they won’t, what am I trying to say? Like, they won’t control the pressure. The pressure won’t be released. Guys, I am not, like, I am pretty good with pain, I am pretty good. But all of a sudden, we are in the air, and I start needing to pop my ears. So, I start chewing a piece of gum. It’s not working. I start trying to yawn. I’m yawning like every ten seconds, trying to get it to pop. I like, hold my nose, and I’m trying to blow out my ears, and it won’t pop. And you guys, I am not exaggerating. I got to the point where I was like, I had my head between my knees. No one could talk to me or touch me. I was squeezing my head as hard as I could because it was the only thing that I would like, relieve the pressure even slightly. I was crying. I didn’t know what to do.

I was in complete panic. My husband had to call the attendant, the flight attendant, like, what do I do? Can you help me?

Mark:         Yeah, yeah.

Becca:       It was just the most intense pain I’ve experienced in a really long time. And I remember this happening to my mom when I was a kid, like, we would fly, and her ears would hurt. But, nothing like this. I thought my eardrum was going to explode. Then, I started thinking about all the possibilities as to what can happen, like, if my eardrum exploded on an airplane? You know, where they’re like calling for the doctor, is anybody here a doctor? Anyway, it turns out it was fine. It took me a solid 36 hours to get my ears to like and hear properly again. They just held onto compressed air for a day and a half. It was worth talking about on a podcast.

Mark:         Oh, man, that’s tough. Talk about gratitude, and I bet your grateful that your ears aren’t—

Becca:       Well, remember in the airport, I was like, I can’t imagine being deaf. For a long time, I couldn’t hear. So, anything that anyone in our party was saying to me, I just couldn’t hear them for like, 36 hours. I was like, God, I am so glad that I can hear things.

Mark:         Yeah, yeah. That’s too true. So, one of the takeaways that I really enjoyed was this idea of the ultimate success formula; Tony Robbins does everything. He makes everything some outrageous name. The master formula to super success that will overtake the entire universe! So the ultimate success formula, the idea is that you take something that you are successful in, in life, right? So, maybe you’re a great parent? Or, maybe you are really good in health? Or maybe you’re really successful when it comes to making money? Whatever it is, you take that, and you actually pay attention to what you do to have that. Right? What are your beliefs around that thing? What kind of actions do you take around it? And then you pay attention to that, and then you apply that to other areas of your life that aren’t as good.

So, I consider my health to be pretty decent, so whenever I think about my health, I’m like, how did I get healthy? What did I do? Right? I started reading books, listening to podcasts, and then the next thing. Well, then what did I do? Right? Then, I was like, okay, I started thinking about it a lot more. I started, you know, budgeting time into my day for health. And usually, that came in the form of exercise. I started with the simplest step.

So, for me, that was like, you know, when I first started getting into health, I just ate anything: Just Mcdonald’s all the time, and stuff. So, I was like, okay, I am going to start eating rice. And that was a big step.

Becca:       You remember when we first got together, and it was like, our dinners were rice and chicken and like, hot sauce.

Mark:         A can of vegetables, yeah, we weren’t even to vegetables yet. At that point.

Becca:       Yeah, we didn’t even make vegetables with our dinner.

Mark:         Yeah, it was just rice. It was more about like fat.

Becca:       But, it was a big deal because we were, you know, drunk college pizza eaters.

Mark:         Well, and it was a big difference, right? It was a baby step. Then, I remember when it was like, okay, I’m going to try to eat a vegetable every day. That was the next step, so I would literaly buy a can of vegetables and dump it onto my rice and chicken and hot sauce.

Becca:       And, guys, we’re laughing because of the contrast of where we are today. But he’s so right. Like, the baby-stepping is why we are here. Like, now, when you come to our house, we’re eating vegetables all the time. Like, we’re juicing vegetables, vegetable smoothies. Like all we eat is like, meat and vegetables. But it didn’t just happen. This is how it happened.

Mark:         Right, right. Exactly. We baby stepped. And like she said, now it’s pretty much our dinners every day, at least is a meat and two vegetables. So, you’re really getting more vegetables than meat. But that didn’t just start that way, and I remember when we’re like okay, we’re eating a meat and vegetable every night. We are going to start eating two vegetables now.

Becca:       That was a big deal.

Mark:         Oh, it was fucking huge. I couldn’t believe it. Now, it’s just a no-brainer. But it took that little baby step. So, that is the ultimate success formula. You take something that you are successful in life; you really try to pay attention to what did you do to get good at that, and then you take that and apply it in other areas of life. So, if I were now to start a brand new business tomorrow, I would take those same steps from health and apply them.

So, let’s say I want to start a vacuum business; well, what would I do? I would start learning about it. I would start consuming information related to that topic, whether it is books, podcasts, YouTube, talking to someone, or having coffee with someone already in the business, so I would learn. The next thing that I would do, I would start having dedicated time set aside towards that. Right, and so, for some people, or for me, it might be setting aside time to plan. Or doing something that actually moves me forward, and then the next thing would just be doing really small steps.

So, for me, it would be finding out okay; what is the next step? And then I do that step repeatedly. Once I kind of have that one down, I move onto the next one. And that’s my success formula, and everyone’s is a bit different. For someone else, it might be like, well, to lose weight, I had to stand in front of the mirror and look at how disgusted I was with myself, right? So, maybe for them, it’s just bring massive pain to their current lifestyle.

Becca:       To their reality. You know, I think that a lot of people whenever they come to me, and they are—Most people, by the way, when they come to me for business coaching that they have waited until their business is at rock bottom. You know, it’s like, instead of coming whenever it’s like going well, they come when it’s going under. And they’re like, hey look, here’s this piece of shit business, you are my last resort. I am going to pay you money, and hopefully, you can fix it—

Mark:         That’s so true, that’s so true.

Becca:       But what I find is when they come to me, they have lost what got them successful. They have stopped doing what got them successful. So, whenever I am like, hey, how did you start this business to begin with? And they’re like, well, I was super curious, so I started reading books, I started asking people for help, I started just trying everything. Like, if I thought it, I did it.

And then, over time, as their business grows, their mind constricts. They start thinking that one thing should or shouldn’t be done this way, should, should, should, right? And like Tony Robbins says, they shit all over themselves. But, I ask them, well, what happens to getting curious? What happened to trying all the things? What happened to asking all these people and reading all these books? And a lot of times, if you look back at the very beginning of your business when it was doing really well or you thought it was doing well, you were doing all these things, and now you’ve come to get business coaching, and your business is going under, and you stopped all of those.

Mark:         Yep, absolutely.

Becca:       Yeah.

Mark:         That is absolutely true. So, anyway, that was kind of a big takeaway. I do think that we should wrap this up.

Becca:       Yeah, thanks for coming to our TedTalk. This is it for us today.

Mark:         Yeah.

Becca:       All right, guys, well, I will see you all next week. Thank you, Mark Pike, for being on the podcast.

Mark:         Absolutely; I love hanging out with you and talking to you. This is pretty much what we just do anyway when we sit around and talk.

Becca:       Like, our conversations are worth tons of value for people if you could just listen to it. You and I are used to it. We’re immune to it.

Mark:         We don’t notice it.

Becca:       We don’t notice how valuable our conversations are. So, high-five, let’s go makeout.

Mark:         All right. Sounds great.

Becca:       Bye!

Mark:         Buh, bye!

Hey, thanks for taking the time to listen to today’s episode. If you’re looking to get more clarity and momentum for your business, visit hellyescoachingonline.com. See you next week here on The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast.

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